Parks and Threats
And you thought they were safe spaces
Parks aren’t as innocuous as they seem. There are threats, direct and subtle, lying around at all times. Here’s a list for your safety:
The guy running backward: He believes in defying the rules of normal human running to gain additional health benefits at the cost of spooking people out. When you come across this creature, believe your eyes and move out of his way as he doesn’t have a rearview mirror.
Laughter clubs: This bunch mentally transmits jokes among themselves and isn’t willing to share them with other people. Instead, they prefer to freak people out with their hysterical laughter. They believe in the phrase ‘Those Who Dance Are Considered Insane by Those Who Can’t Hear the Music’. Well, how about sharing those secret jokes, huh?
Kids skating: The ones skating inside the rinks are harmless and possess brains. The other lot, with their brains leaking out of their ears, skate on the jogging tracks for more adventure, not in their lives but in the lives of innocent people trying to shed calories. There’s no need to worry as these kids don’t last long on the tracks; they bump into the guy running backward.
Two problems, one solution.
Badminton shuttlecocks: The shuttlecock of amateur players hits your head when you run. They ask you for it with apologetic grins on their faces. Give them a stare and throw the shuttlecock inside the laughter club circle; they won’t dare to get it back.
The overtaking old person: They want to overtake you from your left and right with their steel knees. At first, you might think of them as a pickpocket. But you’ve stopped wearing pants with pockets since the guy running backward stole your chocolate granola bar one unfortunate morning. Then you realize that every day, Memento mori strikes this person like lightning. So they push themselves and overtake people half their age even if it ends with them panting on a bench, about to die.
Death can come anytime.
The athlete: This person is a delightful threat. Chances are you might fall on your face gazing at their chiseled jawline, strong biceps, and sculpted calves with visible veins. But it’s okay; you’ll smile after that fall(without your front teeth).
The creep: Sitting on a wooden bench, this person stares at people to write about them in funny articles. Okay, I should stop writing about myself.
