Patriarchy, Patriarchy (Why Art Thou So Toxic?)

Fatchecker
The Haven
Published in
3 min readAug 10, 2022
poster of the Three Stooges
Photo: Columbia Pictures. The Three Stooges. Masculine Toxic Avengers?

You know what the problem with patriarchy is? It’s kinda masculiney and toxcity. However what is toxic masculinity?

1st Man: Whatever it is, it don’t exist.

2nd Man: Why doesn’t it?

1st Man: We’re both men. You know it don’t exist.

2nd Man: Humour me. Tell me why it doesn’t exist.

1st Man: Do you want a fat lip?

“The concept of toxic masculinity is used in academic and media discussions of masculinity to refer to certain cultural norms that are associated with harm to society and men themselves.” — Wikipedia

What is denial? A river in Egypt.

A person, who wasn’t at all wise once said, “If you pretend long enough that something don’t exist it won’t exist long enough to need pretending for.”

How do you defend the indefensible? How do you explain away the obvious? Apparently it’s very easy.

There is a scene in the film Hoi Polloi that gives a denier of toxic masculinity a perfect opportunity to practice their art. By the way Hoi Polloi is a 1935 film starring the Three Stooges, Moe, Larry and Curley. That is literally all you need to know about the film.

The scenario. Moe, Larry and Curley are not fighting.

The Question: What are they doing?

The answers:

(A). Team Building. The office boss said that the team weren’t hitting their targets, so he sent them away to some remote retreat with activities and events designed to increase motivation and promote cooperation. That’s so white collar worker.

(B). Playing dobby. The chasing game where one person is ‘it’ or ‘on’ and runs around chasing others, who when caught become ‘it’. There are those, that for some bizarre reason call the game “Tig” or “Tag.” This is not to be confused with “Zig” or “Zag” which ain’t a game.

(C). Trying to swat a fly. A dipteran, probably the most irritating member of an order of insects containing the two-winged or so-called true flies, is buzzing around being, well, irritating.

(D). Capoeira. The Brazilian martial art that combines elements of dance, acrobatics, and music that is commonly associated with outdoorsy events like festivals and entertainment in market squares that often makes one think, “Why are they getting in the way?”

(E). Playing Rock, Paper Scissors. The game came with instructions. However men don’t read instructions.

Epilogue

1st Person: Do you like slapstick?

Me: Well I do occasionally suffer from dry lips, so yes.

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

…………………………………………………………………………………………………

--

--

Fatchecker
The Haven

Culturally diverse blue collar ageing b-boy and incessant moaner. Midlander. yUK. Pronoun: Amateur hour.