Please do not identify me by my flat cap

Sat in Bryant Park New York

Once upon a time, a few months ago, I decided to sport a flat cap that made friends and strangers alike go woah.

This flat cap though is not my identity.

Underneath it is a set of thick hair in which occasional dandruff flees by

but I guess an argument can be made through photographic evidence

that flat caps claim residence on top of my head

My fiance and I in Times Square

look at this photograph of my fiance and I, the woman I plan to wed

what is it that we spot? Not the bright lights or billboards — oh no

but the flat cap on my head!

it is often said by friends and strangers “I like that flat cap!” as if it is my only identification key

lets take a look at another photo

Disney Dream

here I am spotting a pose on the Disney Dream, a cruise that was truly one of a kind

unfortauntely I did not leave the flat cap behind

there it lays upon my head not improving the photo at all

it does not make me look tall or help prevent a fall

here I am picking a nose of a certified police officer, surely someone should have called

his friends to lock me away — not because I search for treasure but because

I had the gull to wear that stupid blue flat cap in yet another photograph

I did not attend Hamilton instead I just pointed like a peasant

of course in a flat cap because god forbid I wear any other type of hat

my friends, observant, had a point —

I do wear it far too much

I mean, come on, I couldn’t even give a proper Presidental Pardon speech

without that thing on my head

I have been in denial all this time

you can identify me by my flat cap though I ask you do not

surely there must be other hats out there I can wear

without the fear of being ridiculed by my friends and family

thank you to all those who pointed out to me

“don’t you wear anything else?”

Apparently not

Thank you for joining me on this journey of self discovery

if you know any other types of hats I could wear

leave a comment below

I would appreciate that greatly

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