President Applauds Both Sides of Slavery
Claims “Slave owners were good people too”
Speaking for a brief five minutes, even as organizers stood at his shoulder to usher him off the stage, the President called for Americans to embrace “both sides of the racial question.” His comments came during the opening of the Mississippi Civil Rights Museum in Jackson.
“Remember that slave owners were good people too. Strong on the family. Family values. They encouraged slaves to write their family members. The wives and children sold to other plantations hundreds of miles away,” he told a large crowd of six people meeting at the back of the museum.
Organizers scheduled the event near the exit in case Secret Service needed to rush him to his limo “because of his schedule.”
“They didn’t have the Internet in slave days. You may not know that. No Internet, and slaves couldn’t afford long distance phone calls, so they had to write their wives and children, preciois baby children, working on plantations in Louisiana, Florida and New York.”
“They didn’t have the Internet in slave days. You may not know that. No Internet, and slaves couldn’t afford long distance phone calls, so they had to write their wives and children, preciois baby children, working on plantations in Louisiana, Florida and New York.”
The President reminded his audience that “slaves had bad people too. Many ran away, forcing their employers to waste good money buying a replacement. Kind of like graffiti on the walls of on of my apartments. I spent millions, hundreds of millions restoring apartments that renters trashed. Not slaves. I didn’t rent to slaves. Of course, they aren’t slaves now, but they were. I mean, I had enough trouble cleaning up apartments that white people trashed. Can you imagine what I would have spent cleaning up after those people?”
The President appeared in a golf robe with a hood draped down his back. “A gift from some of the good people of Mississippi. This is a fine robe. I think I’ll make it my permanent bath robe. It will keep me warm when I sit on the crapper and Tweet.”
He concluded by acknowledging the brother of slain Civil Rights leader Medgar Evers. “He’s a fine man. I never met a better man. His brother would still be alive if he’d have been as quiet and polite as this guy. Why can’t you people be more like him instead of refusing to bow for God and the Flag at football games? And the troops. It’s all about the Troops who never used slaves.”
“(Medgar Evers) would still be alive if he’d have been as quiet and polite as this guy. Why can’t you people be more like him instead of refusing to bow for God and the Flag at football games?”
At that point Chief of Staff John Kelly discovered that the President was double-booked to meet with Homeland Security Chief Kirstjen Nielsen on hurricane prevention during the winter months. “I look forward to that meeting,” the President said. “She’s really hot. I’d give anything to….” The President couldn’t complete his sentence because the Secret Service whisked him to his limo.
The museum staff swept, scrubbed and fumigated the room and before they opened it to the public.
