Prince and The Revolution Negotiate the “Purple Banana” Lyric
Prince releases an impassioned scream and an amethyst-encrusted guitar descends from the ceiling
August 6, 1984
BURBANK, Cali. —
Producer: Let me start by saying that “Let’s Go Crazy” is going to be a huge hit!
Connoting impatience, Prince flicks his silk scarf.
Producer: Okay, I’ll get to the point. There’s an edit I’d like to discuss before you begin recording tomorrow. The chorus is currently written as —
“Let’s go crazy
Let’s get nuts
Let’s look for the tumescent penis”
Wendy and Lisa respond in unison: I don’t see the problem.
Producer: Well, we like to play nice with the FCC, so we avoid recording obscene language.
Prince whispers a message into Wendy’s ear, which transcends into Lisa’s consciousness.
Lisa: Prince and The Revolution will not idly stand by your censorship machine!
Producer: Whoa, whoa, whoa! Who said anything about censorship? All I’m asking for is a little creative collaboration.
Wendy: Such as?
Producer: A tiny lyric change is all! Instead “tumescent penis” how about “Let’s look for the andouille sausage”?
A disapproving silence befalls the boardroom.
Producer: What about “Let’s look for the buttery Baguette”?
Lisa: Bread yeast? Too vaginal.
Producer attempting a jazz snap: How does “Let’s look for the slippery pickle” feel?
Prince cocks an eyebrow to denote his suspicion of German pastimes.
Producer: Come on, I got our top writers on this project!
Prince psychically prompts Wendy and Lisa to sing.
“Let’s look for the sultry aubergine!”
Producer: That’s better! Except, will the general public understand that an aubergine is a euphemism for tumescent penis?
Prince leans onto his white gold cane, glancing towards the exit.
Producer: Wait! We’ve got to finalize this lyric before tomorrow’s studio appointment!
Prince releases an impassioned scream and an amethyst-encrusted guitar descends from the ceiling. Prince strums it with melodic, erotic perfection.
“Let’s look for the purple banana!” is thus born and cosmic funk rays lift Prince and The Revolution out of the boardroom.
The Producer approves the lyric seconds before succumbing to an ecstasy-induced grand mal seizure.
