HERMIT-CRAB FICTIONS

Product recall notification

Other potentially affected products: Penny’s Own Self-Esteem, Penny’s Own Bank Balance, Penny’s Own Energy Levels, Penny’s Own Faith in Humanity etc.

Photo by Matthew Henry on Unsplash

Category

Health & wellbeing

Product name

Best Years of my Life™

Brand

Penny’s Own

Model number

DOB06121956

Recall date

Immediate

Description

Penny’s Own brand wishes to recall its Best Years of My Life™ product, which since its market launch in 1956 has been widely distributed by owner Penny Jennings among a range of partners, children and jobs. It is clearly defective because all of these parties have squandered the love and care that were integral to the product’s functionality for their own selfish ends. The product owner has been left wondering what the point of everything is, and wishes to recall her time so she can start again with a nicer set of people.

Detail