HUMOR

Putin Pissed With Skepticism

I was under the impression that the rest of Europe was going to be indebted to us

I can’t come to terms with the blatant rejection of our claims of a safe and efficient vaccine. I was under the impression that the rest of Europe was going to be indebted to us and would offer to do anything just to get a few million doses. I Guess you guys ain’t gonna be willing to rejoin the Union. Your loss. No iron curtains gonna be gracing the land. And what is this bullshit about how many volunteers did you test it on? Volunteers? Is this a fucking NGO?People might be saying no to you in your failed democracies. Not here. We told people to take it or leave it. By leave it I meant leave Mother Russia and rot in other countries where people don’t love their leaders to death.

People said we cut corners to get it ready as fast as possible. We cut no corners alright. How could we. Our approach to the whole process was circular. Wherein I told my scientists to get it done by this date or you’ll be running in circles like Guinea Pigs.

This situation reminds me of eight grade when I had gotten the highest marks in Geography. Everyone was in denial. Dmitri who always used to top, snatched my answer sheet and was ecstatic when he saw that I had shown Crimea as part of Russia. He took my answer sheet to the teacher and asked her to correct the mistake. But what happened? I was eventually vindicated wasn’t I?

In these times of doubt we must pay heed to the advice of a stable genius who while advocating a miracle drug said ‘Take it. What harm can it possibly do. I took it. Nothing happened’ And with this I rest my case. If I had a mic I would have dropped it.