Quarantine grooming woes…
How i tried to learn to wax in a pandemic
Google …how to wax eyebrows & bikini line at home?………..
Google showed me information from Teen Vogue, explaining in 5 easy steps how to be hairless smooth and silky everywhere. Seemed like nothing my 40 yr old self couldn’t handle.
Get the wax strips and rub them between your palms — Got that one !! feeling super confident.
Stick the strip on the undesired hair in the direction of the hair growth — wait, what if the hair is pointing in all directions.. hello google please answer, not feeling too confident anymore but i still did as said on my bikini line.
Rub and press the strip on firmly — yes ma’am, am on it. pressing hard hoping it gets all the little weeds growing randomly feeding off of my healthy diet of alcohol, chocolate and nacho chips!!
Quickly pull off the strip in the direction of hair growth — Taking a deep breath i pulled hard…
Repeat for all stray hairs — — i never got to that.
Woe and behold …..i was left bouncing around with my hands between my legs and one stubborn wax strip which came off only halfway. That fucker had to be slow peeled off which was excruciating only to reveal some hair removed and the rest just wax coated pointing in all directions as usual… like a drunken porcupine who fell in a honey pot.Removing that wax clinging to my tender nether regions required a long soak and extreme patience… in short a nightmare!
Adieu to waxing, i am back with my trusted old friend the razor… reliable and easy. Might not give longterm results , but the way the world is who knows if tomorrow’s gonna come or not…
As far as my eyebrows are concerned, i wont even dare to wax them. Imagine dealing with half an eyebrow. It would be Pirate me then, with an eyepatch and a covid mask !! Scissors and tweezers have to do…
Au naturale needs to become a normal thing again, and not only for the perfect bod females who advocate it by growing bushes in their underarms. For average people like me too…. Maybe i should try letting it all grow free like the deer in the meadows… ugghh.
I just wanted to make sure that if miraculously i get lucky ( which is super rare given my weird sexless marriage situation, but hope is all one can live for )…i don’t freak the guy away with cavewoman bushes……
Till then, i wish all of you success in your self grooming sessions and am gonna go text my salon lady to say thanks for her amazing work all this time.. Cheers!!
