Re: Ghostwriting Proposal for Book on Trump’s White House by Ex-Staffer

To: [NAME OMITTED] (XXX@whitehouse.gov)

Subject: RE: Ghostwriting Proposal for Book on Trump’s White House by Ex-Staffer

I’m sorry, but I’m not going to be able to take on your book. It’s not for lack of intrigue — I’m sure you have quite the repository of true and fascinating information regarding Trump and the current state of the White House. The problem is myself. I have too much on my plate at the moment. Until I finish these other 14 books on Trump by ex-staffers from the White House, I simply cannot take on another project.

I think it’s fantastic that so many of you want to come forward with what you know. I do think however that it is important to ask yourself why you want to author a book on this subject. If the answer is money, fine. If the answer is because you think it will change people’s minds, I have some unfortunate news for you. It won’t. I do not mean to deter you or anyone else from the pursuit of informing the public on pertinent, perhaps critical, truths, but rather to encourage you to give long and thoughtful consideration to the fact that I’m currently writing 14 books on the exact same topic. Seeing as there’s already been a few books of the same nature published, and the reign of terror conducted by the current administration has apparently only been bolstered by these efforts, I think it’s safe to say that the people buying and reading these books are people who already agree with the underlying premise. To everyone else, these books are, at best, an easy way to keep a heavy window cracked open a bit. Or firewood.

I’m sure your book would be unique. I’m sure you experienced Trump’s White House from a perspective we might not have heard from yet. And I would love to ghostwrite it if I didn’t have so much going on. But people are resigning and getting fired left and right these days, and so I believe it would be a mistake to accept your offer. To be honest, I probably shouldn’t have accepted the last four offers. I haven’t left the house in weeks. I don’t remember what sunlight feels like. My sleep is often interrupted by Sean Spicer calling me in the middle of the night with some new juicy tidbit.

Purely professional advice: write the book yourself. You have the time now that you are no longer employed. If you can stay off Twitter long enough to get your thoughts down in a structured and comprehensive manner, you might not need a ghostwriter at all.

However, I understand if that is too difficult. I’m sure you have a lot of Twitter followers, or will if you start tweeting about your time with the thing we are currently calling president. Not even the most dignified politicians can resist the thrall of seeing their follower count increase tenfold in a matter of a few viral minutes.

I will happily recommend to you other competent political ghostwriters if you so desire. But you may get the same response. We’re all a little up to our necks right now and will likely continue to be now that Comey’s book is out. A lot of White House staffers have resigned/been fired in the past year. A lot of White House staffers have resigned/been fired in the past two weeks. An uncomfortable amount of White House staffers have resigned/been fired since this last Monday. We can only write so fast.

X. Garcia

Political Ghostwriter