Readers

It happened.
Well, it happened a few weeks ago.
It probably really happened months ago. Maybe longer. I just figured I was tired or I had been working at my computer for too long. Or maybe I was instagramming too late into the night.
But this is how it went down…
I’m out at dinner with my friend Jennifer. It’s dark. Not dark dark, just restaurant dark. I look at the menu. I can’t read it. I absolutely cannot read the menu. It’s a complete blur, like the legalese at the bottom of a lottery ticket.
I hold it out as far as I can — as if I’m a prizefighter showing off my reach. I’m almost touching Jennifer’s face.
“What are you doing?” she asks.
“I’m trying to read the menu.”
“Here,” she says. “Use my glasses.”
“Nah, I don’t wear glasses.”
“Just try them.”
I put them up to my eyes. DAYUM! I can read every word. I can even tell you who printed the menu, when, and in what city.
So, um, yeah. Aging. It happens.
*I had to go with a b/w canted angle partial selfie with a serious face to go with this story as I thought wearing glasses would give me that ‘high IQ look’. Because ultimately I look like when a dog wears shoes… “Here, buddy, let’s take those off.”
Every time you click that clap a puppy gets a belly scratch, an ear rub, AND a handful of super yummy crunchy puppy treats. But if you don’t, it gets the hose again. Just saying…

