Readers

Stephen H Stein
Aug 22, 2017 · 2 min read
*

It happened.

Well, it happened a few weeks ago.

It probably really happened months ago. Maybe longer. I just figured I was tired or I had been working at my computer for too long. Or maybe I was instagramming too late into the night.

But this is how it went down…

I’m out at dinner with my friend Jennifer. It’s dark. Not dark dark, just restaurant dark. I look at the menu. I can’t read it. I absolutely cannot read the menu. It’s a complete blur, like the legalese at the bottom of a lottery ticket.

I hold it out as far as I can — as if I’m a prizefighter showing off my reach. I’m almost touching Jennifer’s face.

“What are you doing?” she asks.

“I’m trying to read the menu.”

“Here,” she says. “Use my glasses.”

“Nah, I don’t wear glasses.”

“Just try them.”

I put them up to my eyes. DAYUM! I can read every word. I can even tell you who printed the menu, when, and in what city.

So, um, yeah. Aging. It happens.


*I had to go with a b/w canted angle partial selfie with a serious face to go with this story as I thought wearing glasses would give me that ‘high IQ look’. Because ultimately I look like when a dog wears shoes… “Here, buddy, let’s take those off.”


Every time you click that clap a puppy gets a belly scratch, an ear rub, AND a handful of super yummy crunchy puppy treats. But if you don’t, it gets the hose again. Just saying…

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