RFK Jr. Once Decapitated A Dead Whale With A Chainsaw

Johnny Robish
The Haven
Published in
3 min readAug 27, 2024

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Kennedy told his family, “Why I have ‘half a mind’ to take this dead whale’s head home with me.”

Source: Wikimedia Commons

As if the dude wasn’t strange enough, Robert F. Kennedy Jr. is back in the headlines again, but not for suspending his campaign and endorsing Donald Trump, or for his admission he once planted a dead bear cub in Central Park as a prank, and not because he had his deceased ex-wife’s corpse “exhumed and reburied.” He’s in the news this time over a resurfaced 2012 interview with his daughter “Kick Kennedy.” Turns out in that interview, she shared that when she was a child, her father interrupted their vacation after he heard about a dead whale that was beached over on Squaw Island in Hyannis Port — so Kennedy immediately drove over to where the whale’s carcass was and proceeded to “cut its head off with a chain saw.” He then strapped the dead whale’s head to the roof of their minivan and took off on the five-hour drive back to their Mount Kisco, New York, home. Kick Kennedy confided that not only was the stench of the whale’s rotting head unbearable, but it was also leaking bodily fluids all over them inside the interior of the minivan most of the way home.

Hey, now I think I understand why RFK Jr endorsed Donald Trump. I’ll bet he simply mistook Trump for another rotting whale carcass. Gee, and to think we once thought Mitt Romney’s…

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Johnny Robish
The Haven

Johnny Robish is an actor, comedian, and humor writer who is considered one of America’s most trusted sources for complete nonsense.