Richy Sunak. More, Antisocial Behaviour.
Last Friday, The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, Rishi Sunak, a man so out of touch he thinks a January Sale is a New Year’s yacht trip, gave a speech called, ‘Protecting our democracy.’
During the speech, Mr Sunak, not familiar with the phrase, “the oxygen of publicity,” referenced the Rochdale by-election and thus gave, George Galloway, a man so full of himself that he probably thinks when you look in the mirror you see his reflection, the oxygen of publicity.
“Keir Starmer, this is for Gaza,”
A lot of hatred still flies around because of Operation Swords of Iron — the Israeli military response into Gaza.
1st Person: Why the fuck call it that? You piece of shit.
Me: OK, you’ve got a point, but there’s no need to be abusive.
1st Person: How isn’t there? You’re a fucking piece of shit.
See what I mean?
“For Rochdale. For Gaza.”
On Monday George Galloway were sworn in as an MP. He then left the House of Commons chamber and did not take part in the Levelling Up, Housing and Communities Questions debate held straight after he was sworn in.
1st Person: The Israel Defense Forces have levelled Gaza.
A week is a long time in politics.
There’s that famous saying, “Oh to be a fly on the wall.” Well, luckily for you. I was, so you didn’t have to be.
Picture goes wavy and we’re back in the past….
Late afternoon, Friday 1st March
Me: ….Chilly isn’t it? Could’ve done this indoors….
Fly: Shush!
Rishi Sunak: ….So let us go forward together, confident in our values and confident in our future.
1st Journalist: Well, that was a fucking waste of time. So, where’s that tenna? I told you he wasn’t gonna call an election.
2nd Journalist: Where’s my tenna? I said he wasn’t gonna resign.
1st Journalist: Maybe Pete called it? Declaration of war?
2nd Journalist: War on woke!
1st Journalist and 2nd Journalist: Nailed it!
1st Journalist: You a football fan?
2nd Journalist: I follow the odd Forest game….
1st Journalist: Not a football fan then. Anyway, before we slink off, there’s a game we can play. There’s an online version…. Here we go. What’s that?
[shows quotes]
“We’ve had fans of the other team shouting ‘burn the Quran’. We’ve been called ‘Talibans’ and ‘P*** bombers’, also f****** Muslims, Muslim c****.”
“I receive racist and misogynistic posts on my Facebook account. They call me ISIS bitch and Bin Laden’s daughter.”
2nd Journalist: That’s Islamophobia in football.
1st Journalist: OK. What’s this?
[shows news story headline]
“In the aftermath of the October 7th Hamas atrocities and Israel’s war on Gaza, Joe Jacobson, one of the only British Jews playing professional football, needed a security escort into Wycombe Wanderers stadium. Also the League One club resisted demands to cut ties with him.”
2nd Journalist: Legitimate criticism of the State of Israel by football fans?
Late evening, Monday 4th March
1st Cleaner: ….Heard about the Church of England wanting to create a fund to address slavery….?
2nd Cleaner: Don’t get me started. Those people are dead. The past is the past. We need to move on.
1st Cleaner: OK. So, what about the Post Office scandal victims who have died waiting for compensation?
2nd Cleaner: That’s different.
1st Cleaner: OK. So, what about the Infected Blood scandal victims who have died waiting for compensation?
2nd Cleaner: That’s different.
1st Cleaner: OK. So, what about….
2nd Cleaner: I haven’t got time for this. I’ve bogs to clean.
1st Cleaner: Keen to clean the toilets. That’s different.
Late afternoon, Tuesday 5th March
Rishi Sunak [on phone]: ….It’s a private jet. Why on earth would I give you a lift….?
[door bursts open]
Michael Gove, Secretary of State for Levelling Up, Housing and Communities: I got so much trouble on my mind, Refuse to lose, Here’s your ticket, Hear the drummer get wicked….
Rishi Sunak: Have to go. [puts phone down] ….Still not a fan of knocking Michael?
Michael Gove: Still only boots Rishi, only boots. Out of curiosity, apart from becoming PM, do you have any regrets Rishi?
Rishi Sunak: None. No, actually I misspoke. I regret that £1,000 wager that migrant deportation flights to Rwanda would take off before the next general election. It was clear from the backlash that I should’ve wagered ten or £20,000. The £1,000 did not instil confidence.
Michael Gove: You really are out of touch aren’t you?
Rishi Sunak: On Wednesday Michael I shall slay that deeply offensive trope. Jeremy will pull a rabbit out the hutch.
Michael Gove: “Hat” Rishi. “Hat”
Rishi Sunak: My budget. Friday’s awesome speech. We will win the General Election.
Michael Gove: Define “win” Rishi? I must say that Galloway’s not all bad.
Rishi Sunak: We must face down the extremists who would tear us apart …there must be leadership, not pandering or appeasement.
Michael Gove: We all heard you the first time Rishi. Nonetheless, during yesterday’s press conference, Galloway said his party would put candidates up in Labour seats where they’ll either win or will make sure that Keir Starmer doesn’t.
Rishi Sunak [pumping fist in air]: Go Go Galloway!
Michael Gove: Calm down dear.
Late afternoon, Wednesday 6th March
Me: ….Have I missed much in the budget?
Fly: Hunt pledged 1 million towards a memorial to honour the Muslims who died in the First and Second World Wars.
Me: Well, that’s Islamophobia sorted then innit.
Fly: You know what? People can say what you like about Galloway, but he is committed 100% to his causes. With him It’s not about ego.
George Galloway, Leader of the Workers Party of Britain: Madam Deputy Speaker, if the Prime Minister was still in the chamber I would have asked the following: Mr Sunak, you are The Prime Minister of the United Kingdom, a country that is a union of England, Scotland, Wales and Northern Ireland. The United Kingdom is the 6th largest economy in the world and is one of the 5 Permanent Members of the United Nations Security Council. Mr Sunak, do you agree with me, that in this House, in this Parliament that is nearly 325 years old, I am a God amongst men?
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Special thanks to my girlfriend Hen.
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