Runway Models I Did Not Expect to See at New York Fashion Week
In outer space or sailing the seven seas, looking good is the secret to success.
At the September 2024 New York Fashion Week, the top fashion houses showcased luxury styles for the city’s trendsetters. This season, a new designer introduced a ready-to-wear collection celebrating women that high fashion has historically forgotten. Our womenswear editor sent us the following highlights from the frow.
Accountant
First to hit the catwalk is a model clad in a classic, Chanel-inspired set. This trim suit will take her from the desk to the discotheque. The blazer features interior pockets for carrying all of a lady’s bits and bobs, and the skirt’s chic herringbone pattern coordinates perfectly with the classic design of a Texas Instruments BA II Plus Financial Calculator. This ensemble was expertly crafted with the femme financier in mind.
Astronaut
The next model also wears a suit, though this particular one is certified for extravehicular activity. By combining the catwalk and the moonwalk, space women no longer have to sacrifice style in microgravity. Featuring pressure-tested fabric that is lightweight, liquid-cooled, and absolutely NOT breathable, this getup is perfect for an astronaut in any galaxy.
Cowgirl
Wearing non-vegan leather and tastefully assless chaps has this model grinning from hat to boot. After a long day corralling her herd, any cowgirl riding side-saddle in these spurs will surely catch the eye of the saloon’s sharpest shooter. This outfit will elevate any outlaw from high noon to high fashion. Even a sore New Yorker would never be barn-sour again in this season’s complete Western wear collection.
Pirate
Our next model is saying sayonara to scallywags with this versatile design that will shine on the coasts of all seven seas. The matching paisley-print hair scarf ensures that the lady pirate’s sea salt waves stay windswept even while engaged in violent swordplay. A singular gold hoop earring will surely earn her a night guzzling grog with the captain. With shoulder pads doubling as parrot perches, this ensemble is perfect for the pillaging and plundering of the modern pirate. This editor wishes she could don these duds, but this exclusive collection can only be found by following a treasure map. And, as we all know, X marks the —
Ghost
— AAH! HOLY MOTHER OF… OH, MY GOD? W-what’s this? It must be…a ghost! Readers, you heard it here first: ghosts are real, and this one is floating effortlessly down the runway with a signature walk unlike any we’ve seen before. Gone are the days of sheets: her ensemble absolutely SCREAMS spectral-chic. Made of iridescent material designed for seamlessly passing through walls and other nonporous surfaces, this wraith will stun whichever former lover she chooses to haunt at night. The wispy, floor-length gown sent a chill down this editor’s spine and will ignite fright in any haunted houseguest. Comfortable enough to wear for all eternity, this look is clearly apropos for any apparition!
Model Off-Duty
And, finally, we have… an off-duty runway model? In faded sweatpants she bought in high school? Talking on the phone while balancing her keys on the lid of her iced coffee? Wearing no makeup except for traces of yesterday’s waterproof eyeliner that won’t come off for shit? Well, I suppose even career fashionistas have to wear something when they’re off the clock.
