Russian Ministry of Health Approves Second Dose of Novichok

Kremlin Ramps-Up Efforts to Contain Outbreak of Political Dissent

Tom Billings
The Haven

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Illustration by the author.

The Russian Ministry of Health is pleased to announce that a second dose of Novichok nerve agent has been approved for use.

This follows successful completion of a trial to determine the efficacy of a second dose on patients surviving their first dose. Trial participants included 237 political detainees aged 18 years and over. The randomized, placebo-controlled, participant-blinded study achieved overall efficacy of 99.7% (0.3% survival rate). Full results were published in Biological Warfare Today.

As an agent of the Chemical Substance Unit of the Federal Security Services (FSB), you play a key role in the administration of Novichok. The following FACT SHEET has been prepared to address any questions that you may have.

WHAT IS POLITICAL DISSENT?

Political Dissent (PD) can be defined as thoughts or actions that threaten our kleptocracy. Like a virus, PD is contagious, often spreading through oral transmission and infecting the weak with seeds of discontent.

Untreated, PD can create fissures in our society which can lead to its collapse (see SOVIET UNION FACT SHEET).

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