Sanders’ Personal Holocaust
Harassment “makes concentration camps look like summer fun”
Don’t want to handle the question? Feeling the pressure of being forced to admit the press “got you?” Follow the example of White House Press Secretary Sarah Huckabee Sanders. Shed tears and turn the table. Answer, “I’m not the bad guy, you are.”
It’s the girl version (and, Sarah would say, girls should always remember their place) of Drumpf’s “you’re the enemy of the state” move.
Sanders is a victim of journalists and their unfair questions. Not only are journalists persecuting her, they’re encouraging everyday Americans to take off their shoes and throw at her head as well. “Your horrible harassment and degradation makes concentration camps look like summer fun,” she accused reporters in a recent press conference. “I should say ‘so called concentration camps’ since we’re learning every day how much the liberal elites have rewritten history.”
“Your horrible harassment and degradation makes concentration camps look like summer fun. I should say ‘so called concentration camps’ since we’re learning every day how much the liberal elites have rewritten history.”
“I’ve received death threats, been told I should be harassed for life, and someone even said I would never win a Miss America contest. Drumpf told me I look as good in a bikini as Hope Hicks the last time he invited me to the Oval Office for a bl… briefing. I’m willing to enter this year’s contest to prove it.”
“They don’t do the bikini walk anymore,” replied a bored Maggie Haberman of the New York Times. She was painting her nails and watching reruns of Grey’s Anatomy on her cell phone since Sanders had nothing to say that the Press hasn’t heard every day.
“Bet that makes you happy,” Sanders snapped back. “You won’t have to eat your words, which you would have had I won that contest and wiped those skinny skanks off the stage with their thongs.”
The list of ways she’s been victimized included, “Someone used my name and the word “death” in the same paragraph. A clerk at a convenience store refused to make change for a hundred when I bought a pack of gum. And he wouldn’t give me the gum free to make up for it. A rude Democrat driver honked at me when I ran a stoplight he was driving through. I can’t tell you how many people Tweeted that I lied.”
“Someone used my name and the word “death” in the same paragraph. A clerk at a convenience store refused to make change for a hundred when I bought a pack of gum. A rude Democrat driver honked at me when I ran a stoplight.”
“You have lied, on numerous occasions. And so has your boss,” SyriusXM’s Olivier Knox broke in.
She took a pen from the podium and hurled it at him. It the side of his eye and cut a gash. “That’s exactly the kind of persecution I’m talking about. You never call Democrats liars.”
“Actually, we do,” said April Ryan of CNN. “When they lie. It’s just that Democrats can’t get a word in when you’re talking.”
Sanders immediately fired every reporter in the room from the press corp and stormed out, making sure to wipe tears from her eyes and shake them onto reporters. “I should feel bad,” Knox admitted later. “But she’s like that puppy you kick away and she keeps coming back with her tongue out and tail wagging, thinking you’ll pet her even though she’s been rolling in shit.”
“I should feel bad. But she’s like that puppy you kick away and she keeps coming back with her tongue out and tail wagging, thinking you’ll pet her even though she’s been rolling in shit.”
Sander’s outburst sounds to many as though Team Drumpf is playing, “I know I’m not, but what about you?”[1] Critics have long claimed Drumpf’s rhetoric victimizes immigrants and minorities, and even inspires violence against them. The White House, however, insists nothing could be further from the truth.
LP Spuckered, White House Aide countered, “Why do we need supremacy groups and Drumpf supporters to harass immigrants and minorities? We have ICE for that.”
[1]: The White House’s upgrade to the classic game of “I know I am, but what are you?”
Jonesing for an additional 45 fix? Check out:
- Allan Ishac
- Steven Rouach
- The White House Log, a roundup of my reporting.
Wry noir author Phillip T. Stephens wrote Cigerets, Guns & Beer, Raising Hell, and the Indie Book Award winning Seeing Jesus. Follow him @stephens_pt.
