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The Haven

Saudis to Beat Florida and Texas in Race to Host Donald J. Trump Bookless Library?

Backers plan to build a world center for the study of banning and burning books

Photo by Freddy Kearney on Unsplash

The location of the Donald J. Trump presidential library — the world’s first book- and fact-free library — is expected to be announced in the coming weeks.

Instead of displaying books, the library’s shelves will display rows of fake volumes. The dissemination of facts and conducting fact-based research will be strictly prohibited with the sole exception of research dedicated to book banning and burning. People who talk quietly will be ejected from the premises. Also, all visitors must submit to a rigorous pre-screening process designed to weed out academics, people who show symptoms of being curious, or anyone who could be described as an expert. The library will include lavish non-reading rooms where visitors can watch videos of the former president and old Fox News programs.

Three golf courses in Florida, as well as a defunct McDonald’s restaurant and a bankrupt hotel in Texas, are on the official shortlist for the library’s location. But insiders believe that the library will eventually be built somewhere in Saudi Arabia.

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K. B. Cottrill

K. B. Cottrill

Constantly losing the main plot while finding quirkier ones to write about for print, stage, and screen.