Oh my god oh my god oh my god oh my god.

Season 2 of Stranger Things causing rifts in behavior

UNITED STATES — People all over the country are turning their lives upside down in anticipation of Season 2 of Stranger Things this Friday. Norm Chambers of Atlanta Georgia, postponed his heart surgery on Friday, going against his doctor’s orders. “He told me not to gamble with my life. If I learned anything, it’s that you double down on Eleven.” Roger Featherbaum of Seattle Washington rescheduled his divorce hearing on Friday so he can wake up and spend all day with the kids from Hawkins Indiana. “My Demogorgon of an ex-wife can take my actual kids away from me, but she has no clue what the password is to our Netflix account.” The sorority sisters of Delta Delta Delta at the University of Texas will postpone all social events this weekend, which has caused quite the ruckus around campus. “It’s Stranger Things bitch,” said several sisters. Even President Trump is shifting his priorities. “This is Stranger Things. It’s tremendous. I’m going to take a break from tweeting and golfing this weekend. Eleven reminds me of a young me. Never letting go of her ego, I mean eggo.” It looks like Stranger Things is causing strange things to happen.