OBITUARY NOTICE
Sex — 200,000 BC to 2021
Memorial services pending notification of next of kin
It is with a heavy heart, diminished libido and flaccid members that we announce the death of sex. Sex fought bravely over the course of the year but eventually succumbed to complications due to Covid 19.
Sex had a long and glorious career. From its start as a reproductive process that perpetuated humanity to its prominence in the pursuit of human pleasure, Sex notably peaked from the 60s to the 80s. This period was not uncoincidentally sandwiched between a cure for syphilis and before the advent of, the still incurable, herpes and AIDS. The birth control pill and rock and roll also contributed greatly to Sex’ zenith.
While no era was completely without sexual complications, millennials recently have had to navigate consent agreements and their dulling effect on romantic inclinations. Covid 19 however has since blunted all human contact. Those millennials still at home face the same sexual prospects as eunuchs, nuns and clergymen.
Sex put up a valiant fight in the community with monogamous couples holding down the fort. Single adults, who normally uphold sexual revolutions, had abandoned the mantle in favor of porn and sex toys.
