Sex and Name Calling.
What does your partner call you in bed?
“He’ll call me baby girl or sweetheart…maybe slut, depending on the day.” VersaSaid
According to sex experts, name calling tells us everything we need to know about relationships — especially sex. If a person says, “I don’t like pet names in bed,” they’re typically practical and possibly work in a doctor’s office. If their partner feels the same way, they’re probably the doctor.
Not that you can’t be imaginative and practical at the same time with name calling. Like the woman who simply likes a ‘y’ added to her name when they’re having sex. “If my husband calls me Pam,” she explained, “it feels like he’s asking about dinner. Calling me Pammy — a bit goofy, I know — just feels more like we’re playing.”
“We should all strive to be fun in bed,” one sex consultant admitted. “Taking things too seriously kills the mood — and could possibly kill sexual desire over time—maybe permanently.”
Obviously, this places a lot of responsibility on name calling, something experts can’t decide if people take seriously or not.
Most of the time it sounds like they’re not.
As someone wrote on Ask Women, “Sometimes he calls me ‘poopie head’, and I say something equally silly like Ralph.”
Well, I’m sure Ralph finds that funny, unless his name isn’t Ralph. But as far as their sex life goes, you’d think he could think up something more erotic than “poopie head”?
Jacking your partner or personal peccadillos
This led me back to Ask Women, hoping they can explain the difference between “jacking your partner” and pointing out a peccadillo. I mean, is it constructive calling your spouse “Leftie” “‘cause that’s the hand he uses when I’m not around”?
Interestingly, but not surprisingly, most name calling is derived from porn. The typical “babe” or “girl” are the most accepted, since they seem to send porn girls into hard-core heaven. You can even get away with “little girl” if she’s petite, but watch yourself if she’s not.
As one woman pointed out, “I’m two hundred and twenty pounds, so I doubt I’m a ‘babe.’ Then again, if you call me ‘Big Mama,’ you’d better be halfway out the door and ducking.”
The Climax word
Then, of course, there’s “slut,” what sex therapists call the “climax word.” It doesn’t appeal to some women, but others simply can’t have good sex without it. “I need to know we’re at the no-holds-barred stage,” Hilary explained on Reddit. “Then I can start screaming my silly head off—or he can, for that matter.”
Some couples claim they have it worked out to a science. If the woman’s on top, you can call her “babe,” or “girl,” whereas, if she’s on her hands and knees, “slut” is more apropos.
It still doesn’t hurt to ask if she minds being called a “slut,” just in case she was one before meeting you.
Then there are the names people come up with themselves, like the wife who calls her husband “Snuggle Sausage.” She admits he isn’t particularly well hung but, as she says, “There’s nothing wrong with a little confidence building.”
Is Grape Monkey actually a pejorative?
Another couple call each other “Grape Monkey” which I’m not even sure is a pejorative. “We just like the sound of it,” they said, which is neither here nor there in the world of name calling.
If it isn’t meant to illicit a response sexually, you might as well be calling the dog. This was actually the case where a woman took offence to being called “buddy,” since their dog is named “Buddy.” “The last thing I need during sex,” she explained, “is having to ask my husband if wants me to orgasm or the dog.”
Well, it’s good to see the humour in all this, but while we should have fun in the sack, it isn’t funny if that’s all we’re doing.
Both you and your partner need to approach sex with an objective in mind. If it’s to make your sex lives more exciting, then figure out what turns you both on. Do you like being called a “slut”? Does he like being called “Daddy”?
Some sex therapists suggest you just ask, while others think it might be better couching it in a discussion about sex in general.
Seven Names You Shouldn’t Say In Bed (I may have said them all)
I prefer George Carlin’s example. He once did a routine called “Seven Words You Can Never Say On Television.” It wasn’t about sex, but you get the idea. If you tell your spouse “These are seven names you shouldn’t say in bed,” and she says, “I don’t mind being called ‘bitch,’” then you’re essentially off to the races.
Then again, you might find you both hate pet names. That’s okay, too. As one sex therapist pointed out, “Dirty names or heavy breathing don’t make sex. They simply enhance the experience.”
I still like the guy who calls his wife “Chatty Cathy” because she talks through the whole thing. “That turns you on?” someone responded on Reddit. “What the hell is she saying?”
“I don’t know,” the guy responded. “I never listen.”
“What does she call you?”
“Stop Farting.”
There you go. Two people getting the names right. They’ll be together a long time. I’m willing to bet on it. The guy who still calls his wife “Buddy” or “Puddles”? Well, I’m not so sure about them.
Maybe the dog has it figured out.
