Shark Survives Man Attack
Well, I know it sounds cliche, but he came out of nowhere. One second, I’m swimming along on my way to my sister’s and then BANG! I’ve got a spear in my side and there’s this guy gripping the other end. I mean, it was terrifying! Those eyes, so bloodthirsty, and of course I’ve heard stories about human attacks and, well, your chance of survival is almost nil, so of course I thought this is it — this is the end of poor Chet.
There was a lot going through my head, that’s for sure, but mostly I thought of my wife and our pups, our shoal back home, and how I’d never get to see any of them again. And I just kept telling myself over and over, Don’t let him get you to the surface, Chet, don’t let him get you to the surface because if he gets you up there, it’s all over. And so he’s reeling me in with all his might and I’m swimming with all my might, trying to go deep, and that spear in my side is absolutely SCREAMING, but I had so much to lose and that’s what kept me going.
We struggled like that for…well, it felt like hours, but rescuers thought the whole thing probably lasted only two, maybe three minutes tops. They found me in shock, floating with the current, the spear still in my side. I thank my lucky starfish that the line snapped and I’m still here, alive and with all my fins. I was so close to becoming a statistic, ya know? One of the 100 million sharks that don’t survive a human attack each year.
Here’s the thing, though, I don’t want to give humans a bad rap. The last thing I want is for you to leave this conversation believing that every human you encounter is going to attack you, because that just isn’t true. And, honest to goodness, they’re probably more afraid of us than we are of them. Seriously!
My wife says I give humans too much credit and that I have a “morbid curiosity” with them. I must say I am a HUGE fan of Human Week — I never miss an episode. I love getting to see what humans do all day, their routines, how they dress up in clothes, drive cars, walk on sidewalks, go to work, eat at restaurants, make podcasts, text — I can’t get enough of it. But my wife, she says humans give her the willies with their dead eyes and weird feet, but the rest of my shoal looks forward to watching every year and this one won’t be any different.
I mean, there’s still so much to discover about humans. After all, we’ve only explored about five percent of the world’s land, so who knows what’s happening deep in some of those forests or on top of some of those moundains? Mountains? I can never remember.
My recovery? It’s going pretty well. I’m still a little shaken up, but am swimming at night again. I do a lot of circling, and I check all my blind spots to make sure there isn’t a human lurking in the shadows. I wish I could look up, though, and not just side-to-side. From what I’ve heard, it’s the boats you have to watch out for.
My doctor says that my side is healing up and I should be able to swim at full speed again in about two more weeks — thank cod — but I sure have spent a fin and a gill on physical therapy, I’ll tell ya that much.
I don’t think I’m brave or anything. I just did what any other shark would’ve done, and that’s to survive — the same way we’ve been surviving for more than 400 million years. And you know what? Maybe this human attack was one of the best things ever to happen to me. I used to take everything for granted — my wife and my shoal and this whole great ocean — but not anymore. Now, I live every week like it’s Human Week.
So, come on, enough of me blubbering here. Let’s go to the sandbar! First round’s on me!
