Smartscroll Apps for Generic Fantasy Settings
Orcdash
A lot like Doordash except we don’t deliver food, we just deliver oblivion to a humanoid species with green skin and tusks.
Airdnd
Rent a dungeon for the weekend, fully stocked with low-level enemies, treasure chests, and cheap shampoo painstakingly poured into name-brand shampoo bottles.
Mortar
An app for alchemists to find other nearby alchemists and knock roots.
Twoweekagram
The vaguely medieval postal service moves slowly but also unsteadily and prone to plague delays.
Strider
A rideshare service where you catch a lift on the back of a gigantic spider. Not to be confused with Slider.
Slider
Choose your destination and a dragon will swoop down and swallow you whole. You might not get where you’re going but you will get digested and pooped out.
Snapshaft
Send your nemesis an arrow. Choose from the following filters: flaming, poisoned, or anachronistic crossbow.
Bardify
Pay an extra five coins a month for Bardify Plus, which means the bard who follows you everywhere won’t try to sell you decorative soaps in-between ballads.
Swype
Facetime with other members of the Thieves Guild. Helpful for planning elaborate heists and other forms of long-distance cheating.
Loft
As in held aloft. Pinpoints the location of the nearest sword you could potentially pull from a stone. We can’t guarantee you a kingdom but you might get a callous.
Paypaladin
Not what it sounds like — just more sex but with paladins this time.
