So You Want to Unleash Your Inner Workaholic

The morning routine to prepare you for a not-so-awful day. Scientifically proven.

Over four months of experimentation, I eventually found the perfect morning routine. Through reading blog posts, books, and attending seminars, I gathered all the popular tenets of what makes a productive day and applied them to my life. Some were awful, some amazing. Here’s what worked best for me. I’d advise you to begin by applying only one point to your day, and then progressively improving your life through this short guide.

Rise early.

Typically, you should be waking up at 5:07 a.m., when the rooster in the time zone one hour ahead of you releases its war-cry. Also, don’t forget to mouthwash using Tide Pods.

The key to having a productive day is getting a head start.

If you’ve established a good routine as I’ve dictated, you shouldn’t feel very groggy during the morning.

Eat a pre-breakfast snack.

There’s no one-size-fits-all solution here, so you’ll have to identify what food typically gets you in the mood for a fun day of class/work. Generally, I like to eat 12 Chicken McNuggets prior to my breakfast. The POTUS recommends a minimum of 3 cans of diet coke, along with a Happy Meal.

It’s usually the first few things you do during the day that dictate how the rest of the day will feel like. Try to up the positivity in your life through a snack, first things first.


An entrepreneur I recently met recommended reading quality journalism like BuzzFeed to get up to speed with all the memes that were posted during your 6–10 hour sleep. This is a good way to catch up with the tomfoolery of the permanent members of the United Nations’ Security Council. (Avoid Fake News at all costs, though!)

It is in your best interest to find a controversial statement from a politician across the globe. It gets the average person fired up, and that’s precisely what you need at 5:24 am.


Now that your brain is buzzing with information, it’s time to get the blood pumping. A workout may range from a wild dash to the cabinet which houses your favourite cereal to running a half-marathon. Really, it’s up to you. I usually hunt for pesky cockroaches in my room for about half an hour.


Text “Good morning deer” to all your neighbours at 6:00 a.m. Within a week, you’ll be their most valued human alarm. You now have a responsibility to ensure that your neighbours are awake, and this should keep you from falling back asleep. I also like to post a picture of my plate full of chicken nuggets on Facebook every morning just so my friends and family know that I’m alive and awake, full of junk. Your social responsibility should act as a motivating factor now. Don’t give up!


Now, get down to whatever work you’ve been postponing for a week. The tranquility of mornings is conducive to work, and you likely won’t be disturbed by your neighbour’s snake.

And that’s really it. In a world filled with productivity gurus and tips, it’s difficult to find and follow realistic routines. At times, it seems almost mind-boggling! Who’s going to wake up at 6:00 a.m. and do yoga???

Nevertheless, this is just another post in a vast ocean of productivity tips, and it’s in your best interest to pick up a point or two to incorporate in your life. Don’t go too crazy. Thanks for reading!