Solution for Social Distancing: Open Carry Swords.

An elegant social reminder.

The way COVID-19 spreads is like glitter. Little girls are covered with that stuff (glitter, not COVID). Little known trivia: Glitter is actually harvested from little girl sweat. Not unicorns. But glitter gets on everything. And then on you. Try it, go put your hand in some glitter, from that hazy cloud that surrounds a small girl. When you touch a doorknob, there it is. The next person touches the doorknob, they get glitter.

COVID-19 is even worse. I know the media isn’t telling you this. But COVID-19 is actually worse than glitter. Hard to even imagine. So you want to stay away from the stuff. Because, you know. Cooties.

So you venture out to your local deli to pick up some rations for the week. OK, it’s ham, turkey and cheese, but if you call it rations, it sounds way more important that way. When you get there, there’s some buffoon hanging all over the counter, talking to the cute deli girl with the surgical mask on. She might not be cute without the mask, but in these troubling times, you accept the hand you’re dealt.

So with this guy leaning all over the counter, getting his COVID glitter everywhere, if you touch that counter, you’re caught. And when they call your order, he’s still there flirting and having the nerve and lack of…