Sounds Like A Job But Isn’t.

I’m to old to expect starting my career by working for free. But I am old enough to benefit from people who will work for free and call it a job.

That’s right I am looking for an intern.

Certainly don’t expect any of this (Image : Karolina Grabowska : Pexals)

If your interested in the position, please note the work will be gruelling, the rewards will be little and financially it will not benefit you one jot. Potentially costing you, see it as an interest free loan to me.

I’ve been working on the advert to attract the right candidates, to put it frankly the ones I want, the go-getters, the driven, the deluded they won’t wait around until they see an advert posted. No. Their resumes are already on the way. This could be the start of something big for them. I wouldn't be surprised if the responses, which will without doubt be over whelming, have already started coming in.

There will be two dozen email before I stop typing this. A fax or seven, a carrier pigeon will be alighting on my door step soon. Unless someone who whats this once in a life time opportunity more has arranged a carrier hawk and the hawk has took defensive measures against the poor pigeon, just to be clear the hawk ate the pigeon.

Billboard ad’s are likely being booked right now. Sky writing pilots are about to hit a boom time. Those people who cover the backs of road signs with stickers are about to be busy.

If you deliver your resume by singing telegram, that’s going to put you head and shoulders above the competition.

“I thought he’d have a little hat and uniform. Like he’s is in a Was Anderson film. (image:Eugene Bolshem:Pexals.com)

These people are the people I want, and as they won’t have actually seen an advert for the post yet. Task number one, write the ad.

Telephone response won’t be accepted. I don’t want to actually speak to you.

A typical day will involve,

• Getting my lunch,
• Several coffee runs,
• Getting my dinner,
• Get back at people who have wronged me (Excel spreadsheet of these people, so some excel experience would be a boon.)
• Running a verity of errands, including but certainly not limited to mopping floors, petting the cats, doing general admin work, staring at several people I don’t like, I spend a lot of time doing this so this will be an important part of your day.
• Possible increase of responsibility for the right candidate, my roof’s looking a little worn.
• Hand’s on “consulting” of new medium.com articles. 12 - 16 items a day. Plus additional content mill work.

It can’t all be one way though the successful candidate will receive these benefits.

• The sense of worth that comes from helping others,
• The idea that somehow any of this will help them start a career,
• Quite a pleasant cat to pet,
• Valuable roofing experience,

Please note this position has no financial remuneration.

To be clear. Non of this.