Spend is a ridiculously short and unremarkable word.
I spend, you spend, he spends…
And yesterday…
We spenT… Even briefer.
How fast we say that: spenT!
It’s finished, it’s done.
Though indeed, there is some metaphysical sense: for once it is pastt, once I have spentt, it is instttantly relevantt to return again to Spenddddd…
But still: there are limitations to this unimaginative verb invented in times where the only things to buy were cabbages.
“Darling, what did you do today?”
“I spenT some money on carrots.”
“Ohh!… How boring.”
I’m not against retaining Spend — for tedious circumstances.
We could… SPEND FOR AFRICA!
Or…
Spend Time doing the dishes.
But clearly, in our day and age of Orgasmiconsumerism, we must throw down the gauntlet and rise bravely to the challenge of a NNEW verb, a Rrrevolutionary locution.
A just reflection of the illustriousness of our ERA.
I — humbly — would thus propone to propose the verb:
To lavishuponmyself…
I lavishuponmyself, you lavishuponmyself, he or she lavishuponmyselfs…
Seven minutes ago, I lavishuponmyselfed.
(Regular verb—helpful for our foreign friends).
At this very moment in time, my partner is lavishuponmyselfing.
I would have lavishuponmyselfed mmore… But I wasn’t carrying my third credit card.
You will already have noticed the Cool Contemporariness of the In-Vention: Everything is centered around Me!
I venture to bet that in no time at all we will wonder how ever we could have expressmyselfed decently before this moment!
In the near future, we will be able to differentiate…
Where unadulterated indulgence and entitlement are of relevance, we shall joyously proclaim:
“I just lavishuponmyselfed $1,000 for a pair of bone-conduction headphones.”
But will likewise have the option to darkly mumble:
“Just spent $10 on a paper book.”
I, Bonobo, am a Devoteemee of progressmyself.
Just as the Eskimos have 73 words for Snow — or thereabouts.
And some hot country has half a dozen for Sand.
And Japan has 2 for No.
So, we should have 1,316 for selfindulgencemyselfing.
Goodmyself news is here!!
Lavishinguponmyselfing is but the first Splendorous Step on the fantastical Conveyor-Belt towards human emancipatingmyselfing!
Neverr hath thou and I-myself abideded in such an aeonic epoch.
Goddd save the Llord!!
