Say ‘bonjour’ to the next Bon Jovi album

Start Planning the Next Album

Especially if there’s no real plan to tour

Imagine looking this cool as a senior. Photo from Spotify

It wasn’t long ago when Bon Jovi released their sixteenth consecutive hit of an album, Forever. With no imminent plans to tour, I can’t imagine they have much else to do but plan the next album. Therefore, I have made a plan for them to make a ‘Duets’ album with, maybe not obscure, but certainly not the most expected artists to collaborate with Bon Jovi on this kind of album.

1. Found Highway (feat. The Driver Era)

This follow up to the title track off Bon Jovi’s Lost Highway album would be a perfect fit to have Ross and Rocky Lynch working with Jon and company. I mean, when you’re in your driver era, you’re bound to find the highway at some point, right?

2. Living With the Ghost Again (feat. The Ghost of Slim Shady)

Full transparency, these were supposed to all be joke ideas, but this one is lowkey good the more I think about it. Eminem just killed off Slim Shady in his most recent album, but taking that a step further on a sequel to the track off Bon Jovi’s This House is Not for Sale album would certainly make for an interesting song. Think about it. With a chorus that goes like this:

I ain’t living with the ghost

No future living in the past

I’ve seen what hate has done to hope

Tomorrow wasn’t built to last

I ain’t living with the ghost

How can I scream?

I’m scared to breathe

I wrote each word, you gave the toast

But we were fire and gasoline

I ain’t living with the ghost

Eminem could rap rings around that being the ghost in the past that a lot of people disassociate with.

3. Bang Bang Bounce (feat. Jessie J, Ariana Grande & Nicki Minaj)

This song would remix the songs Bang Bang and the title track from Bon Jovi’s Bounce album, into an entirely different song altogether. Two very different songs coming together, to form Bang Bang Bounce.

4. Dyin’ on a Prayer (feat. Sara Bareilles)

Bareilles’ work on Broadway makes her an interesting choice to turn one of the best anthems of all time into a complete pivot to something way more bleak and low-energy, but still just as dramatic.

Oh, we’re halfway there

Whoa, livin’ on a prayer

That would probably turn into this:

Oh, we won’t make it there

Whoa, dyin’ on a prayer

Or something like that. I don’t know, I’m just the idea guy.

5. This House is Up for Sale (feat. The Property Brothers)

The title track off Bon Jovi’s This House is Not for Sale album is a very ‘roots in the ground’ song, but now the sequel to that song sees an imminent need to sell that humble abode. So when you need some musical mediating to take place in the selling of your home to some Nigerian Prince you met online, this is the song for you! It even features a spoken word intro by The Property Brothers!

6. Because We Can’t (feat. Kyle Dubas)

When he was the General Manager of the Toronto Maple Leafs, Kyle Dubas said “We can and we will.” Turns out, he didn’t with the team before jumping ship to the Pittsburgh Penguins, so all the more reason to collaborate with Bon Jovi on Because We Can’t, a musical regaling of what went wrong with the Maple Leafs under Dubas’ tenure.

7. Won’t Be There for You (feat. Jake Gyllenhaal)

I’m sure Jake Gyllenhaal would have a long list of reasons to team up with Bon Jovi for any kind of song. However, for a spin-off of I’ll Be There for You like this, I’m sure Taylor Swift is the number one reason.

8. Ain’t My Life (feat. Rupert Grint)

Riffing on It’s My Life, this would see Rupert Grint filling in for Ed Sheeran, who he’s commonly mistaken for. The theme of constantly being identified as the wrong celebrity would be front and centre in this song.

9. Bed of Coaches (feat. Bill Belichick)

Bon Jovi teaming up with one of the most revered NFL coaches of all time on a song about the beds that NFL coaches sleep on literally and figuratively? Yes, please! Sign me up!

10. Have a Bad Day (feat. Daniel Powter)

Naturally, the opposite of having a nice day is having a bad day. Therefore, compounding Bad Day with Have a Bad Day should create a sonic boom of not only having a bad day yourself, but ensuring everyone else does as well.

11. Good Medicine (feat. Dr. Ken)

Who better than Ken Jeong, wielder of an actual medical degree, to hop on a track about the best medicines available in the worst health care systems in the world with Bon Jovi?

12. Keep the Wraith (feat. Christopher Heyerdahl)

Christopher Heyerdahl in character as Todd the Wraith from Stargate Atlantis on this new edition of Keep the Faith is certainly one of the more obscure on this duets album. With the awesome sound Bon Jovi provides with their band and vocals, Heyerdahl in character would kill it singing about why it helps to keep Wraiths around.

13. I Said You Can’t Go Home (feat. Vladimir Putin)

Might be the biggest stretch as far as availability to collab goes, but who doesn’t love a good communist song telling you when you aren’t allowed to be at home?

I think this article is absolutely a testament to how easy it is to come up with an idea for just about anything. That’s why the actual songwriting is left to the professionals. So, Jon Bon Jovi, if you’re on Medium and you see this, you know what to do.