StockShorts — CEO of Fresno Area Runner’s Trust (FART) Knows Exactly What He’s Doing

If you (like me) are one with the stock market, you might have realized a newcomer to the market with a (not-so) elegant abbreviation. Today on StockShorts, we sit down with the man behind the company that’s causing quite a bubble-up.

“We knew that we’d gain a bit of traction with our abbreviation,” said Jim White, CEO of the controversial company, “We had to weigh the options. Who needed this more, the Runners of Fresno or the juvenile traders who may laugh at our unfortunate acronym.”

Honestly, to begin it all seemed pretty legit. White seemed to care a lot about the runners in the Fresno area, and I started to trust that maybe this was all a big misunderstanding. However, when he began to speak about the acronym out loud, his true intentions were revealed.

“Honestly, starting FART was the best thing I’ve ever done,” said White, stifling a giggle, “I think we have what it takes to take FART to the very top.”

This time, the giggle wasn’t so stifled.

“Yeah,” he continued, “We’re big into FARTing here. That’s kind of our trading motto- ‘FART to the moon’,” his laughing had now exceeded a giggle and had skipped past a chortle into a full on guffaw.

“FART!” he exclaimed, now crying from laughter, “They’re trading FART! I did that! I made them trade FART!”

White continued to laugh for a good minute, which was more than enough time to come to the final decision that White was nothing more than an extremely wealthy practical joker.

As for the future of FART, White discussed a merger with the People’s Occupational Office Pact.

Originally published at http://jacksonhellerwork.wordpress.com on October 18, 2021.