Style & Substance (Part 4)

Fatchecker
The Haven
Published in
5 min readApr 25, 2024
Photo of wrapped presents on a table
Photo: cowellsgc.co.uk

1st Person: It’s part 3.

Me: You sure?

1st Person: Yes.

Me: You’re lying ain’t you.

1st Person: No. It’s true

Me: Bless you. I’m still dyslexic….

1st Person: Get the violins out.

Me: I be rocking Violas.

Photo of actor Viola Davis in the filmThe Woman King
The Woman King. Photo: Ilze Kitshoff/Ilze Kitshoff. Sony Pictures.

As I were saying, I’m still dyslexic and I’m still inspired to write about presentation and its importance to folks like me, who find reading a challenge.

In fact one of my most favouritist and memorable quotes is, “A picture is worth a thousand thingamejigs.”

Give your audience something attractive to look at, and just like me, you’ll end up with tens of thousands of followers.

So, hop onboard, this is a journey into sound advice.

Rule 1. Make sure your image sits with the topic.

front of record cover for Stereo MC’s 12” Connected
Photo: Gee Street

That’s the easy bit. As for choosing a topic, that’s harder. There’s literally a smorgasbord of subject matter out there.

You ask, “Is there such a thing as an easy topic to write about?” Heavens to Murgatroyd, obviously. Classic kids telly.

front of record cover for Mariah Carey’s Rainbow album
Photo: Columbia
front of record cover for MAGPie’s Magpie album
Photo: Skinny Records
front of record cover for Rage’s Why Don’t You 12”
Photo: Pulse-8 Records
front of record cover for Leif Garrett’s Runaround Sue 7”
Photo: Atlantic
front of record cover for Desmond Dekker’s This Is Desmond Dekkar
Photo: Trojan

1st Person: Did you mean The Double Deckers? Again, I’m not even sure that’s Dyslexia.

However if you’re brave and want a challenge there’s always the Middle East.

front of record cover Siouxsie & The Banshees’s Israel 7"
Photo: Polydor
front of record cover for Gazza’s Geordie Boys 12"
Photo: Best Records
front of record cover for A Flock Of Seagulls I Ran 12"
Photo: Jive

Keeping topics topical, there’s a cost of living crisis going on.

front of record cover for the compilation Brassic Beats Volume One album
Photo: Skint

Some commentators have suggested that it’s causing a mental health crisis.

front of record cover for Suicidal Tendencies’ World Gone Mad album
Photo: Suicidal Records

However, the cost of living crisis doesn’t just effect individuals.

front of record cover for EPMD’s Out Of Business album
Photo: Def Jam 2000

1st Person: “Affect.”

Me: Word.

Hopefully things will improve.

front of record cover for EPMD’s Back In Business album
Photo: Def Jam Recordings Group Inc

Feminism! Good God! What is it good for? Absolutely, everything.

So, will you be a writer who deliberately courts controversy?

front of record cover for Revolting Cocks’ Big Sexy Land album
Photo: Wax Trax! Records

Good on you!

Identity is a hot topic for some and a boring one for others.

front of record cover for SHE’s Outta Reach album
Photo: Causeway Records
front of record cover for Arcade Fire With Owen Pallett’s Her album
Photo: Milan
front of record cover for Today’s People’s He 7"
Photo: Derby
front of record cover for HIM’s Pretending CD single
Photo: Supersonic Records
front of record cover for Can’t Decide’s Can’t Decide album
Photo: Raging Records

Mind you, you may not be into this new fangled biznizz.

front of record cover for Dinosaur Jr’s Green Mind album
Photo: Blanco Y Negro

Fish, which is my favourite dish….” — Rakim

front of record cover for Hearts’ Barracuda 7"
Photo: Portrait
front of record cover for Swordfish’s What Hit Me? album
Photo: Swordfish Records
front of record cover for Eels’ Beautiful Freak album
Photo: DreamWorks Records

Sorry, got distracted. People say being dyslexic means you sometimes lack whatchamacallit.

front of record cover for Focus’s Live At The BBC CD
Photo: Hux Records

Back to topics. You may be concerned about the Climate Crisis.

front of record cover for Cast’s Desert Drought 12"
Photo: Polydor
front of record cover for They Might Be Giants’ Flood album
Photo: Elektra
front of record cover for Heatwave’s Central Heating
Photo: GTO

Although you may be rather pessimistic about how things will turn out.

front of record cover for Blondie’s Rapture 12"
Photo: Chrysalis
front of record cover for Discharge’s End Of Days album
Photo: Nuclear Blast
front of record cover for Altern 8's E*Vapor*8 / Armageddon 12"
Photo: Network Records

You could always write about how it’s not right that people don’t seem to be getting along.

front of record cover for Junior’s Communication Breakdown 12"
Photo: Mercury

Or how you wish people could discuss things calmly.

front of record cover for Cabaret Voltaire’s Don’t Argue (Dance) 12"
Photo: Parlophone

Or simply how you’re concerned people are becoming increasingly closed-minded.

front of record cover for Steady “B” Just Call Us Def 12"
Photo: Pop Art Records

In the end, you will be judged on your wordiness. Do your research and demonstrate a strong knowledge of your topic. Don’t end up like this.

front of record cover for Bradley Cooper & Lady Gaga’s Shallow (The Remixes) CD
Photo: Interscope Records

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photo of draft excluder against a door
Photo: bhg.com. 1st Person: Do you like my new draft excluder? 2nd Person: It’s 2024, be more inclusive.

I started this draft on April 16th and finally got around to finishing it thanks to Medium’s Draft Day. More here: MediumDraftDay.com.

1st Person: Why you telling me this?

Me: Sorry, I thought you were someone else.

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Fatchecker
The Haven

Culturally diverse blue collar ageing b-boy and incessant moaner. Midlander. yUK. Pronoun: Amateur hour.