Superman Paranoid After Too Many Gummies
I’ve got super strength, and a wicked buzz
It’s me, Superman, and yes, I’m here to apologize. What happened yesterday was totally my fault. I ate some weed gummies, and I didn’t know how strong they were. It’s not an excuse, but I didn’t mean to get so blazed in the middle of saving the world.
I had Lex Luthor cornered when the gummies kicked in. That’s when this superhero got super hammered. Instead of capturing Luthor, I flew back to the Fortress of Solitude, and freaked-out under a blanket.
I started wondering if everyone was out to get me, including Jimmy Olsen, my bosses at The Daily Planet, and my colleagues at the Justice League. I even started doubting my shawty bae, Lois Lane. I imagined everyone was working together to kill me with a bunch of kryptonite. Crazy, right? By the time I chilled-out, and ate six loaves of raisin bread, Luthor had escaped.
Some of you will be shocked to learn that Superman gets super stressed. That’s one reason I’m stressed — your expectations that I always have to be perfect. After a while, Superman felt like a role I was playing, instead of being myself.
That’s when I started riding the chronic train to nugtown.
