Supreme Court Releases Ill-Timed Hip-Hop Collaboration With RNC
The Supreme Court of the United States, mired in several scandals that have exposed apparent political bias by multiple conservative judges, dropped its long-awaited hip-hop album, “Judge Deez Nuts,” on Friday. The album features a bevy of collabs with members of the Republican National Committee, drawing sharp criticism from many circles.
While the justices facing controversy have been publicly attempting to downplay choosing politics over impartiality, the album strikes a downright defiant tone with tracks like Justice Samuel Alioto’s “Ma big ass Flagpole” and Justice Clarence Thomas’ cover of the Lonely Island hit “I’m on a Boat,” featuring the line, I’m on a boat, motherfucker, don’t you ever forget.
The album, produced by RNC Chair Michael Whatley and Kanye West, contains 12 tracks from a handful of Justices and a who’s who of GOP personalities of all ages. Old schoolers include Mitt Romney performing “My kush plants are all the right height, bitches,” and Mike Pence’s “Hello. I am Mike Pence.”
Donald Trump was slated to be on the album but had to pull out because of scheduling conflicts with his court appearances. Florida Representative Matt Gaetz had to step in and perform a song originally written for Trump, called, of course, “Grab ‘Em by the Pussy,” which ended up being a perfect fit for Gaetz, too.
But Trump’s presence is still all over the album, especially on Marjorie Taylor Greene’s “Butch Body’s Packin, Gonna Catch You Lackin,” featuring John Roberts, Peezy, and Money Man. Lyrics like Got my ‘Trump Life’ ink ‘cause he tells me what to think, highlight Greene’s undying allegiance to the former president.
Hop-hip icon Dr. Dre weighed in on the release, saying, “I appreciate the shout-out in the album title, and the beats are tight, but the lyrics are, not surprisingly, just awful. I hope Kanye got a bag for this.”
Noticeably absent from the album are Elena Kagan and Sonia Sotomayor, the only justices with previous hip-hop experience. The two performed as the duo Salt-N-Cumin in the early 1990s.
“We both still spit some mad rhymes, so we were surprised that they didn’t ask us to at least appear on one track,” Sotomayor said.
Another glaring absence is former RNC Chair Michael Steele, who famously wanted to give the GOP a “hip-hop makeover” when he was elected chairman.
“I think they only wanted one black guy, and Clarence Thomas was clearly gonna get the job over the brother who went to MSNBC,” Steele laughed.
There are also some surprise appearances on “Judge Deez Nuts,” including Joe Manchin and Kyrsten Sinema performing “Halfway to GOP,” with lyrics like, Independent for a minute, then GOP, I’m all up in it, confirming exactly where both of them are headed.
The most perplexing track on the album is Justice Neil Gorsuch’s painful cover of The Notorious B.I.G.’s ”Mo Money Mo Problems” which also features vocals from former NRA CEO Wayne LaPierre, ousted Congressman George Santos, Senator Bob Menendez (the lone Democrat on the album), and Senate Minority Leader Mitch McConnell.
The chorus of the song repeats the phrase, It’s like the more money we come across, the more problems we see. Mitch McConnell is the only one of these men who has not been embroiled in a major financial corruption scandal, raising questions about why the other four would agree to appear on the track as well as why McConnell was chosen for this song.
West speculated, “I think everyone just wanted to make Mitch say the line, I’m the young Harlem nigga with the Goldie sound. We would listen to him saying that line over and over in the studio during the mix. That shit is life-changing art.”
Sales of the album have matched recent public confidence in the Supreme Court: lackluster.
