The Haven
Published in

The Haven


Ted Cruz is a Valley Girl

Like oh my god, I totally needed a vacay

“It’s like totally not my fault that Texas isn’t winterized. If you can like get a car winterized, can’t you like get a state winterized? I like that word. It’s smart.”

“I needed a vacay. Does anyone know how hard my job is? I’m like a politician, which, like, totally means that I have to…



A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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Amy Sea

100 X Top Writer, Editor— MuddyUm Editor, Breast Stories Editor-in-Chief — Comedian, Satirist, Humorist, Top Writer. Publisher of Breast Stories.