The Bold and the Shy
I woke up this morning with a question. Am I shy or introverted? What the hell is the difference? But there is a difference. Being shy doesn’t necessarily mean you are introverted. When one is shy, they are timid or fearful. And when one is introverted, they are quiet and inward. This morning, I talked with myself about the matter because my musings won’t stop once I started. Now, I digress; I am no psychologist or personality expert. It is only simple musing. Let’s continue.
Now, when speaking of one trait, you must consider the opposite because a coin does not merely have one side. Or we all would be clones and pick the same winner in every coin toss.
Here is my weird analysis, which you can take with a grain of salt because there are many nuances. Looking up the antonym of ‘shy,’ the dictionary gives words such as daring, brash, rude, bold, courageous, gutsy, and audacious. What is the closest antonym of ‘shy’? I assume ‘bold’ because if ‘shy’ means fearful or timid, ‘bold’ closely represents the opposite. And what is the closest antonym of ‘introverted’? This one is a no-brainer: It is ‘extroverted. ’So we’ve got ‘shy,’ ‘bold,’ ‘introverted,’ and ‘extroverted.’
The Four Permutations:
- You can be shy and introverted.
- You can be shy and extroverted.
- You can be bold and introverted.
- You can be bold and extroverted.
Now, I will give you my take on these permutations through anecdotal storytelling:
Mary Is Shy and Introverted
Mary sits at a cafe corner table. She’s a nervous wreck as she is conscious of all her fellow patrons amongst the clatter of china and the din of conversation. She worries about anyone approaching her, so she keeps her nose deep in the book she brought. No one come near! Oh, God! Please, No one come near! She wears her innards on the outside, exposing her heart to every archer’s arrow and not in a love-struck way, but she fears an aortic dissection that would drop her heart to the floor.
Oh, God! Here comes Jimmy. Don’t come near. Please don’t. He is standing right in front of her, and despite her nose being buried in the book, he asks her out. “Do you want to go see a movie?” he says.
Mary hesitates. “Uh!…Uh! Ok!” She doesn’t even like Jimmy but says “Yes” because she can’t say “No.” She would rather watch a movie at home alone or read a book alone to evade the fearful world in front of her. But she has now committed to a person she doesn’t like. She cannot get what she wants out of her life.
Harry Is Shy and Extroverted
Harry is fearful of the world but needs to be in the company of other people. He sits at the bar, sipping on a margarita. He tries to tell a joke to the guy sitting next to him, but the fucker doesn’t get the punchline. “So Sorry! I know, it’s a bad joke.” Harry blushes for telling a joke to a stranger. Now, he drinks in rapid gulps. Gotta get it off my chest, he tells himself. Does anyone notice my blushing? He wants to be a showman, perhaps an actor, but damn, he better stop blushing so much.
A crowd around Harry are waiting to get drinks. A woman standing in the clutter is so close to him that he smells coconut in her hair and the pheromones on her breath. He wants to take her home for a rendezvous, but he knows he needs to ask her out first. Harry cannot express his wish to this woman directly as he might blush. The beneficial thing is that this woman is interested in Harry. And Harry is interested in her but fears that he might screw up a good conversation. He fears striking the wrong chord as he might let a desire to mate with her slip when it’s too early for that. “Can I buy you a drink?” the woman says, but Harry sits there sulking. The woman walks away perturbed by his passive-aggressiveness.
Robert Is Bold and Introverted
Robert is cold as an icepick. He throws an egg at a dog pissing on his lawn. There is a knock on the front porch. Robert opens the door and sees the neighbor picking eggshells from the poor dog’s fur. And what does Robert do? He slams the door shut. He always thought the neighbor was a pussy. And he chuckles; A dog owned by a pussy! Robert sits at his computer. He is stimulated by his thoughts, but don’t intrude on him, as he will tell you where to go.
Robert doesn’t own a cellphone as he doesn’t appreciate constant calls. But his landline rings. It’s Robert’s brother, Ralph, who he hasn’t seen in about ten years. Ralph has just arrived in town from across the country. “Yeah! Yeah! I see…” Robert says on the phone. “Well, you’ll have to find a hotel, I guess. My spare bedroom is under renovation, and I’m going to be busy for the next week while you’re in town.” Robert hangs up the phone and congratulates himself for escaping an unwanted intrusion.
Janet Is Bold and Extroverted
Janet is a partygoer. Give her a few drinks, and you’ll see her dance on tables and take off her clothes, but she is not a stripper. She could be built like a stump, but that doesn’t stop her from exposing her soul (and flesh). Anything goes with her.
Janet sits at a table at a run-down bar in the run-down part of a lonely town. She is seductive; Usually, only long-bearded hippie-type men sit around her. Each one wants a piece of her, but she only teases them. They know that, but, hey, there is always the chance. “Hey, boys, buy me some shots, and I’ll plump up on the table and give you a show,” she says. The men whoop loudly. Not only do these men, hoping to be her first, buy her shots, but sometimes slip a bill or two in her bra. The truth is that Janet could take any man home with her, but don’t tell her you love her.
Which Classification Do You Fit Into?
Again, take all these permutations of traits with a grain of salt. And there may be different levels with slightly different hues, nuances, and character gradients, but I am using the most extreme and absurdly crafted stories to make a point.
