The Defensive Lineman That Just Tackled You is Really Sorry :(

Can we still be friends?

Hey, my bad, man. Looks like I may have gone a little overboard with that stop. Are you alright?

Wait, hang on a second — I know you! We were rookies together last season, right? Tough trade, man. How the hell are you?

I hope you know that I didn’t mean to knock you over and pin you down on the turf like that. I know it was technically illegal contact. My head just hasn’t been in the game lately.

But, anyway, how’s the weather out west? Does playing there feel different somehow? Sometimes I wonder what it would be like to practice on a field that’s never seen snow. I also wonder what it would be like to sit on the bench without my balls retracting into my stomach like a tape measure, hah. Do you ever miss the winter chill here?

I swear that I didn’t mean to grab you and hang on tightly for a little too long. The refs definitely missed that holding call. If I could go back in time and undo it, I would.

Where’s your family? My folks are still in Pittsburgh. After the draft, they told me that they turned all of their terrible towels into makeshift cheeseheads. When I posted about that, the boneheads in my Twitter mentions called it sacrilege. But I thought it was kind of sweet. What about you, do you think your parents are proud of you?

Again, I really didn’t mean to pull your hair gently at first and then… a little harder once I thought I heard an enthusiastic response. It’s just that… I haven’t been held in so long.

Do you ever get lonely in California? There’s not that much to do here in Green Bay, especially since I’m always on the road. My ex used to tell me that I was still finding my footing, but the last thing I needed to hear about was another agility drill, you know? How long do you think it’ll take you to adjust to a new city? One season? Two?

I’m sorry that I always get so carried away. Coach told me to leave it all on the field and I DID, and I can never take it back. The love for the game is the only love I have left here, man. And, maybe I’m losing it. Maybe my CTE is setting in and I’m forgetting the rules of football. I don’t know why else I would let myself get an unnecessary roughness penalty. I’m usually better than this. Maybe I just needed a hug and a friend and this is the only way I know to get anyone to listen.

What are you doing after this? Do you want to hang out before you fly back to California? I share an apartment with a couple of the guys from the practice squad. It’s only a few blocks away, and I have a six-pack and a round of Madden 24 with your name on it — literally.

Oh, that’s okay. Work-life balance, I get it. Another time, then?