The Great Thinker Problem.

Sravani Saha
Jul 22, 2017 · 3 min read

Or Why Thinkers Can’t Think Too Well.

Image:Author

I’m a Thinker. A Thinker.

I think.

I think deeply and seriously. I analyze situations and think more and more about the situations until they plead me to let them be.

When someone asks me what I do, I reply thoughtfully ‘I’m a Thinker.’

I notice eyebrows rising to the stratosphere. Sometimes a roll of eyes. Sometimes a snigger. Or a snort.

What do I think about?

About everything happening in the world or everything that needs strategic planning for the betterment of humanity.

Which satellite from NASA should have the next test-launch? When should the Hyperloop construction start from the front of my house? Should the next iPhone have a built-in taser for better shooting? Should Mars be forced to move nearer to the Earth so we have more places to visit? When can men be made to give birth?

These are the kind of things great thinkers think about.

However, the problem with being a thinker is that we are always interrupted when we are deep in our thoughts. It is not social media. It is the world around us. The universe conspires to stop us from thinking and from making the most noble changes in the world. Consider the following scenarios.

I’m at my desk. Thinking. My eyes are out looking at the eagle pecking at something that it has hunted while I’m thinking of discovering the next planet now that Pluto has become an outcast.

Suddenly, the five year old runs in and asks ‘Mom, what are you doing? Are you thinking again?’

Bam. Gone! All my thoughts are dissolved in thin air like they never existed. The Solar System is out of my orbit now. Whoosh! It’s gone.

Next scenario.

I’m thinking about why we don’t live in caves anymore. Life is so much easier in caves. We would not have to fix and re-fix and re-re-fix the lamps and bulbs and reading lamps and fans and air-conditioners and washing machines and dryers and toasters and blenders and choppers and graters and hair-dryers and irons and hair trimmers that we use in our homes. Our hairy ancestors (they are always illustrated with floating hair all over their bodies) had no extra work of fixing things that we actually invented to make our lives easier.

I’m in deep thoughts about this, and I’ve almost reached a stage when I’m finalizing whether I should move to a limestone cave or a glacial cave, when my mom knocks at the ‘Thinkers Inside’ door and informs: ‘Your cat has pooped on my purse again.’

‘Really?! I’m thinking in here Mom!’

But it’s gone again. All my thoughts are already submerged in the poop pan.

Next scenario.

I’m at the salon, my head tilted back waiting for a shampoo from the guy who had peacock feathers for his hair. I am thinking of the next time the Earth, the Moon, and the Sun will be in a straight line and my plans for that particular day when I’m suddenly interrupted by a croaky voice asking:

‘How do you like your water ma’am?’

‘Uh, what?’ is my reply.

‘How do you want your water?’ the voice asks again.

‘Not muddy,’ I reply.

The voice stops and I feel a sudden gush of water on my head. All my thoughts and plans for the cosmic day vanish.

There is absolutely no place where thinkers can sit and think. Maybe I should organize a hackathon on thinking. If nothing works, and considering how the world treats or mistreats Thinkers, I’m actually changing my corporate profile to say ‘Dreamer’ instead.

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The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Sravani Saha

Written by

Author of ‘Yes, The Eggplant is A Chicken’ https://amzn.to/2Iym2ok Humorist, Satirist, Mom, Ex-Googler. Write to me at s.sravani@gmail.com

The Haven

The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

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