The Last NHL Anti-Masker Goalie
It’s me, Andy “Fearless” Brown, the last NHL goalie to play without wearing a mask. You might also know me as the 1973–74 season’s record holder for penalty minutes incurred by a goaltender. Some might say there’s a link between my refusal to wear a mask and being the type of person who racks up penalties as a goalie. I say, you’re goddamn right there’s a link! It shows I wasn’t some scared, safety-concerned hoser.
You think I would’ve gotten the nickname “Fearless” wearing a mask? When you’re the only thing standing between a rock hard puck flying at over 100 miles per hour and the back of the net, you can’t be concerned about the welfare of your face. Sure, all of the other goalies wore masks and claimed it protected them, but I wasn’t a pretty boy worried about losing a few chicklets.
It was my right to not wear a mask, and no one could make me cover my mug if I didn’t want to. Okay, maybe it would’ve helped protect my face, but it interfered with my vision. If I was wearing a mask, I was stuck peering through peepholes. I’d much rather risk a biscuit in the face and potentially have my eyes swell shut to the point where I can’t see anything.
If those other goalies don’t like me chirping them, then they shouldn’t have those birdcages on their heads. I bet they wear seatbelts too, the wimps.
