The Loch Ness Alpaca
Everyone’s busy. It’s tough to keep up with everything that’s going on in the world. A quick recap. War, flooding, fire, growing resistance to antibiotics. People have forgotten that government isn't about being right, or winning the argument, gun violence is on the rise. In short it’s bad.
Understandably you’ve not been paying full attention to the news and who could blame you. You’d have to be a masochist to stay informed these days. Sure you’ve scanned the headlines, gleaned just enough info to appear well informed.
That is until someone says “See that Loch Ness Monster story?”
You have two choices.
Come clean and say “No.” But then you risk looking like an idiot, being ridiculed by friends and family, probably being socially isolated.
Second choice. Lie. It’s not a bad stratagem. Just bluff your way though some Nessie banter for a few minutes and your back looking like the well informed caring citizen we all pretend to be. The only down side is what if the person who asked is a real Nessie nut.
What if they have an encyclopedic knowledge of the monster. An intimate understanding of the elusive beast that borders on the psychotic. He has all the info dating back to the Irish monk St. Columba’s sighting of it in 565 and he wants to share, he’s (I think we can be sure by this point it would only be a man who wants to share this.) wellspring of cryptozoological information with a fellow enthusiast.
Let me present to you a third option. Stabbing.
It takes a lot of commitment, but it works for a lot of people.
If only you hadn’t missed the headline:
“Loch Ness Monster” Sighting Was Actually Alpaca Going For a Swim.”
Facebook photo’s of alpacas swimming in Loch Ness have tricked a number of people into thinking there was finely proof of the famous monster.
A local farm keep a herd of the long necked fluffy clouds and tourists can walk them. While some of the heard were on a walk, or as it is really earning there keep. The part of the heard left behind decided to join in.
They escaped and it’s taken several days to round them all up. The animals had a wonder round the bed and breakfast next to the farm and the banks of the loch.
Who ever keeps the heard may need a better fence, they have escaped a number of times before.
The story appeared on the website of the newspaper the Daily Star. A paper known for it’s level headed and straight forward approach to the news. A more quality paper you could not find.
There is also a new theory that the Loch Ness Monster could actually be a fresh water dinosaur.
