The new Marmite ad is basically sock puppet p*rn
How did they allow this on TV?
With everything that’s happening in the world right now, I thought we could all use a laugh and stand in awe of Marmite, Britain’s favourite yeast extract spread, as they have managed to create something that is adorable, raunchy and revolutionary all at the same time.
Note: If you’ve never heard of Marmite, it’s a savoury spread that is controversial here in the UK and is famous for its “love it or hate it” slogan. With its strong, salty flavour, we have been divided as a nation, as many dislike it, but there are also equally as many who love the stuff. I personally adore Marmite, like this cat right here:
The brand have taken their marketing to the next level with a campaign riddled with innuendos titled ‘Marmite First-Timers’. It has been created primarily with Gen-Z-ers in mind following research which has shown that 43% of 18–24 year olds have NEVER tried Marmite. Not even once.
From the ‘first timers’ reference, you can already get a taste of what treats this delicious commercial has to offer — it involves two sock puppets (who appear to be more than just friends) enjoying Marmite for breakfast and engaging in… well…
Watch it for yourself:
I’m also going to explain it with GIFs, starting right from the beginning.
DISCLAIMER: All of the following images belong to Marmite.
First 30 seconds — just two puppets eating breakfast, I think
The puppets are sitting in the kitchen innocently and are jamming to the backdrop of a funky techno beat. Nothing unusual here, but it feels like something exciting is about to happen. I want to join in the fun.
The ad then tells me to perform a series of actions, including “grab that”, “twist that”, “spread that” and “bite that”, but this is all fine because they’re only talking about grabbing a slice of bread to toast, opening a jar of Marmite, spreading it on said toast and taking a bite — surely?
32 seconds in — vigorous spreading
So far everything is going fine. This advert is cute. The sock puppets are cute. The punky dude’s putting his knife into the Marmite and…
… wait, what… what is he doing there, exactly? …
…Ahh! He was just spreading the Marmite. We must be the ones with the dirty minds. Moving swiftly on…
35 seconds in — laying it on thick
The puppets are now experimenting with different levels of Marmitey-ness, laying it on light and then smothering their toast with it. Personally I don’t discriminate, so whilst I’m watching I slather it all over my slice of bread to show the puppets my appreciation.
40 seconds in — the rating goes from PG to 18+
All of a sudden the puppets reward me with a quick-cutting montage showing me more of their heavy Marmite session.
I got more than I bargained for and I feel like I’m involuntarily taking part in a Marmite-à-trois.
There’s sofa-spanking, gagging, questionable facial expressions, one puppet is licking marmite off the finger of another… the male puppet won’t stop “dipping” his knife…
And then…
52 seconds in — I’ll have what he’s having.
The male puppet is falling back on the sofa in ecstasy. The advert has quite literally climaxed.
After witnessing what I can only assume is a sock puppet receiving the best BJ of his cotton-y life, the commercial is rounded off with a clip which incorporates both the Marmite slogan and Marvin Gaye.
Conclusions — a smart, sex-positive ad
I just want to make it clear that I’m certainly not reacting with disgust or outrage to this advert (if I was grossed out, I wouldn’t have watched it so many times). My reaction is more “Good on you, Marmite, for pushing boundaries and marketing your product in a way that’s actually pretty hilarious.”
I also think it’s very sex-positive. At first I was concerned because the male puppet appears to be the only one having all the fun — I was like “where’s her Marmitegasm?”…
But then I realised something — his partner puppet seems to have introduced him to Marmite for the first time whilst she seems to be familiar with it. It’s almost like she introduced him to brand new sexual experiences, which is empowering for women (particularly in a heterosexual relationship dynamic).
I look forward to seeing an increase in the consumption of Marmite — because if anything’s for certain…
…It’s that sex sells.
