The Official Grammar Guide to Tweeting in 2021
Gather around children, class is in session
The constantly changing nature of the Twitter universe can be daunting. Most days I don’t have time to stay up-to-date on what Olivia Rodrigo is doing in her new music video or what incomprehensible insanity Elon Musk is talking about. Achieving omniscient Twitter user status is impossible and should be no stable person’s goal. However, in the Year of Our Lord 2021, there are a few necessary grammar guidelines to ensure you are staying in the realm of culturally aware Twitter users (or at least to prevent you from outing yourself as culturally illiterate).
2, to, and too
‘2’ is no longer acceptable. Delete it from your repertoire. It’s time to let people know that you minored in communications and understand the difference between ‘to’ and ‘too’. No need to hide your intelligence, we no longer fear an educated social media user.
Capitalizing letters
Names of well-known people should always be capitalized. If you’re referring to somebody that no one cares about, such as your random friend Anthony or Chris Brown, please leave their names uncapitalized. In all honesty, you probably shouldn’t be tweeting about Chris Brown at all. We will cover this issue in the next lesson.
Beginning a tweet with a lowercase letter is perfectly acceptable and, in fact, is encouraged! It’s effortless and easy on the eyes.
Ur, your, and you’re
‘Ur’ is always an acceptable alternative. Preserving characters is still important.
Punctuation
When tweeting about the following topics, you should always use multiple question marks or exclamation points:
- The politics of both government and reality television
- Something that happened to you on public transportation
- Family drama
It is advised to refrain from using multiple punctuation marks when tweeting about the following topics:
- Your children
- The Academy Awards
- NPR
- Natalie Portman (out of respect)
Periods can be used (sparingly) to signal that you are finished with one sentence and beginning another. However, they should never be used at the end of a tweet. Unless:
- you are going through a divorce
- you are Dionne Warwick.
The Em Dash
The em dash is the single most important literary tool in your Twitter toolbox. It is also, however, one of the most difficult to execute. Beware of your lust to use this seemingly inconsequential character. Every English lit professor has needed to give a stern talking to their 100-level classes about NOT using em dashes in their writing, no exceptions. And every well-versed Twitter user knows to disregard this rule when it comes to tweeting. The em dash can be implemented in a number of ways if you just follow one simple rule: yes, it needs an em dash.
Go then, my readers, and fill the Twitterverse with well-crafted bits of wisdom, news, and humor. Or just repost TikToks.
