The Pandemic of Compulsive Callers and How to Deal with Them.
Speaking is one of the most basic activities performed by humans. It has existed since prehistoric times and continues to expand its reach with the help of increasing population and advancement in technology. In the past, you had to go to a person physically to speak to him, meaning you would only go when you really wanted to talk or when it was urgent. After that came the era of landline phones, a renaissance of speaking. People could talk to anyone provided they were present where the landline was located, which was still okay. You could still dodge someone and say that you were out or that the landline was out of order, but then came the final nail in the coffin for introverts: the mobile phone.
The mobile phone, of course, has its advantages; it can be pretty handy while coordinating a plan, watching YouTube shorts, and getting help during emergencies; however, it usually keeps bothering you like a stalker backed by the constitution, and every time you don't pick up a call or switch it off, there has to an explanation as to why you did what you did. The caller would have you in the witness box while he will be acting as a judge when you give your testimony. It ends with you pleading guilty to negligence, agreeing to be more careful in the future, and promising to pick up the call next time.
It's okay if a loved one calls and tells you about his troubles; that's what family and friends are there for, but I don't understand why not so close ones do it. It won't be an overstatement to call it the beginning of the next pandemic. People have developed this strange fetish to call someone for no reason and tell them what happened to them during the day, their arguments with co-workers, and why life is unfair to them. Interestingly, they don't even want real solutions to their issues. They want to keep their problems like a pet; they will nurture them throughout their life; if you somehow gather the audacity to give them practical solutions, they will dismiss them by saying what you suggest is easier said than done, but doesn't that apply to every worthwhile action in this world, it is easier said than done except messing up.
If their problems get solved, how will they derive their sadistic pleasure from bothering others with their commentary on these never-ending, pointless conversations? However, The real question is how to stop these people from doing this act. Looking through my dusty collection of psychology books, which I only read between the lines, I can tell you it won't happen. They have experienced years of mental conditioning and perhaps pampering, and they will not change.
These people either don't understand or don't care about the subtle hints I give them declaring my non-interest, like only using the words hmmmmm, ohh, and well repeatedly while picking their call only on the second attempt. Despite my half efforts, I have yet to entirely decipher whether they don't get it or don't care and want to complete their process like the last racer in a marathon.
But there is a silver lining. You can get them to stop calling you by this ancient Japanese technique, fuckistu; when someone you don't care about calls you and tells you about his day and his problems, you change to a higher pitch and tell about your day and your problems. When he thinks it's his turn to give his monologue, you make an excuse and disconnect the call. You can get the desired results if you do it daily for 21 days.
As an entry-level smart-ass humor writer has said, 'There is no bigger sin than putting a wedge between man and his peace, and any such violation of peace should be dealt with deaf ears.' Calling people should be like using salt in food only as much as necessary. Governments should frame laws fixing the quotas for such conversations. For a change, the UN can reach a consensus on something substantial.
