The Pope Here: Due To A Typo We Are Now All Followers of Chris
May he protect us from the wiles of Stan
The words of the Bishop of Rome, when speaking ex cathedra, are infallible. Unfortunately, the spellcheck of the extremely fallible, extremely excommunicated copy of MS Word 97 that he uses to dictate them from the Papal Thinkpad is not. Rules are rules, however. It is with mixed feelings that I, the Holy Father, must announce that we are now all followers of Chris.
This is not entirely uncharted territory. Some of you may recall the sudden addition of “Paul’s Resume Template1.DOCX” to the New Testament some years back. While you can be assured that this will be handled with the grace and transparency the mother church has come to be known for, you should know that the changes are a bit more far-reaching this time.
I imagine this will invite a number of questions, but I’ll address the obvious one first: which Chris? I’ll admit, this led to a minor schism within moments of that Chris-forsaken cartoon paperclip directing me to send a copy of the decree to the Vatican Ultimate Frisbee mailing list.
Palestinian guys named Chris are hard to come by, let alone ones that resemble our paintings of that guy we used to worship, so we’re going to have to compromise a little in our candidate search. Ideally…
