The Haven
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The Haven


The Rat Men are incredibly proud

Rat Men recruiting. Photo by Bill Brokaw

The Rat Men are an incredibly proud cult based in south Jersey and their numbers are growing.

They have numerous lodges (called Nests) throughout the region where they hoard food and squeak to each other.

Initiates are called Mice. It takes about two years or more to learn the squeaking and become a full fledge Rat Man.

They are very big on vaccines: COVID, measles, rabies, plague, etc. No one is allowed in the Nests without one. Special rat masks are also required and you also have to be well groomed. No dirty rats in the Nests.

Pipers are not allowed, especially pied ones.

Recruitment is booming. These guys are very convincing. I would have signed up if I lived in south Jersey. I took one of their brochures and I’m hoping they’ll build a Nest around here.

The application is 23 pages long. You have to answer a lot financial questions such as SS number, credit card info and bank account stuff. They are very selective.

If you are accepted you need to sign a Rat Pact.




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Bill Brokaw

Bill Brokaw

Photo taker and writer of Photo Stories.

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