The Real Housewives of Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood
As the franchise is clearly beginning to run out of cities, may we suggest the perfect spot?
The recent news of Bravo’s Real Housewives juggernaut coming to Dubai next season is very exciting. We personally can’t wait to see some housewives fined, or even arrested, for their skimpy outfits, public drinking and dancing, and salty language! Navigating the “dos and don’ts” of a highly restrictive and conservative country should really spice things up for our gals! Hope Andy Cohen or somebody warned them!
As the franchise is clearly beginning to run out of cities for Real Housewife-style romps and routs, may we suggest the perfect spot?
Could it be anywhere other than Mister Rogers’ Neighborhood? The postman is even NAMED McFeely! Just imagine…
We’ve invited our very favorite housewives from previous seasons and locales, and worked with PBS to mash up Fred Rogers’ two neighborhoods (actual and make believe), for maximum fun. Trolley transports our glamorous friends to Fred’s place, where they are greeted warmly and invited to feed the fish. Ramona may have an issue covering her Alexander McQueen statement blouse with a homespun cardigan, and swapping out her Louboutin stilettos for a pair of Keds, but that’s just too darned bad!
The ultimate social climbers immediately set their sights on getting an invite to King Friday XIII’s palace for dinner, surely a coveted treat. But wait! EVERYONE is welcome? In that case, no thank you, our housewives sniff with disdain!
The royal Lady Aberlin turns out to be refreshingly modest and down to earth — quelle bummer! Officer Clemmons is an opera singer, and has never been seen writing out even a parking ticket; how safe could these streets possibly be? Handyman Negri is also a musician, and spends much more time noodling around on his guitar than actually repairing things, so who the heck will fix Housewife Kelly’s malfunctioning flatiron?
At least there’s a female mayor, but, like Lady A., Mayor Maggie is so flipping nice as to be snooze-worthy. Where does a girl go for a good time around here?
By Episode Four, there has been a subtle change in our wives. Frequent bickerers Bethenny and Jill have learned a valuable lesson on friendship from Daniel Striped Tiger, and now work together with Anna Platypus on her “Save The Platypuses” campaign. The girls no longer gripe that Picture Picture doesn’t show Real Housewives reruns; instead, they are captivated by the slides showing how peanut butter is produced. Even the imperious Countess Luann has softened, and now reads little Prince Tuesday back issues of Vogue when he has a bad dream.
In the emotional season finale, the cast gathers to zip up their sweaters one more time, reassure the viewers that it’s US they like, and sing a rousing chorus of “It’s Such a Good Feeling.” Next season’s premiere promises to be a heartwarming one, with Alexis entering the convent, Aviva tutoring kids in the inner city part of the neighborhood, and Bethenny whipping up yummy Skinny Girl brownies for The Make Believe Bake Sale.
Happy viewing to all!
