The Sad Of St George
Hay you! Yeah you! Did you set your alarm to get you up an hour early on April 23rd, then wonder why you set your alarm to get you up an hour early on April 23rd, then remembered April 23rd is St George’s Day, then immediately go on Twitter to moan about St George’s Day?
Hay you! Yeah you! Did you set your alarm to get you up an hour early on April 23rd, know that you set your alarm to get you up an hour early on April 23rd because April 23rd is St George’s Day, then immediately go on Twitter and aggressively wish, anyone and everyone, happy St George’s Day?
Guess what? We’ve got some mad crazy dank St G’s Day themed merch for everybody! Free shipping worldwide!*
Why have a wee England flag with your social media profile pic when you can have a full size one? Quality English flag silk hand sewn in China. Loads of sizes available!
Flags suitable for any occasion, such as hanging out your window when England men are in an international football tournament. Please immediately remove when England get knocked out.
Or rather, when Eng-ger-land get knocked out. Thanks New Order!
Are you the kind of person who purely coincidentally ends up at a St George’s Day festival rocking another home nation flag? Then try our baseball caps!
No, the flags haven’t been misprinted. Only the English require the name of their nation incorporated into the flag.
We do tote bags!
That’s right, the sentence is incomplete because a Black man was spotted taking part in the St George’s Day march. Please note, we’re not sexists. Trust us, it will only ever be a Black man.
Us English are straight talkers. Why not try a shirt that tells it like it is?
Make a unique statement and create your own virtue signalling vest!
Fill in the blanks using a permanent marker (marker not supplied) with a comprehensive list of bad things the British have done to the world. British means English remember!
There’s no such thing as an embarrassing statement. Try on one of our most popular tees!
Like a simple uncomplicated statement? We’ve got something especially for you!
England is a diverse nation, so to celebrate our diversityness we’ve produced a limited edition mass-produced shirt for our football mad Black brothers and sisters.
Happy St George’s Day!
Take it away Mrs Mills!
*Except for countries outside the UK. Brexit!
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Special thanks to my girlfriend Hen.
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