The Thirst Trap Dilemma

Following a particularly gruelling gym workout last Saturday, Tanner Tedesco, fitness influencer, bro scientist, and self-proclaimed expert on all things nutrition and health, remains paralyzed by fear and unable to post his obligatory post-session thirst trap photo.

“I just can’t decide whether my workout, which blasted my quads, fanned out my lats, and helped me reach peak striation and vascularity should be best described online as Hemsworthian or Efronesqe! As such, I’m now stuck and have been unable to post anything to my tens of followers.”

Apparently, this “paralysis-by-analysis” condition, sometimes known within the gym bro community as Wahlbergitis, should eventually pass following two weeks of consistent thirsty messages from physique sycophants sliding into one’s DMs.