The Warm Embrace of Capitalism.
One thing we can all agree on is that capitalism has had a pretty rough ride lately. True, it’s got its dark side. But so has the moon and no one is complaining about that.
Some of its ideals may seem a little old-fashioned and outdated, but let’s not get carried away with reform.
Let’s get one thing straight. Capitalism doesn’t care if you’re a man or a woman. If you’re a person of colour or as pale as a gold fish left in a dark room, Sexists and racists care not capitalism. As long as you are cheap, malleable and plentiful. Then you can find your place in capitalism’s warm embrace.
What capitalism needs is a re-brand. Let’s make it look compassionate and caring. Let’s make it seem less about the destruction of Mother Earth and all living things on her and more about people enjoying tat they don’t need.
We should share more. But not in a way that slows rampant consumerism.
The people who have the biggest problem with capitalism are the younger generation. This makes sense; they haven’t yet felt the warmth of Manna as they suckle mothers’ loving milk.
Getting them on board is now priority №1. No effort will be spared, no amount of money is too much. Let us bring these waifs and strays into the fold. Let them see what they are missing out on and they will want to be a part of it. This has happened before. Remember the hippies? Remember the punks? As unfair as it seems, we will have to reach out to them, offer them a hand.
Connecting with the youth of today means going to where they are. Capitalism needs an emoji. Perhaps we can co-opt that red one hundred sign with the lines. You know,💯. Then we just put a dollar sign in front of it to make it cool. It’s true, you don’t get much for a hundred bucks anymore. Two fish sticks and a strawberry so lets add another zero and make it a cool thousand.
A slogan. Does capitalism need a slogan? It can’t hurt. The current one, “We Own You,” isn’t used much, but it really influenced the current branding. That, of course, replaced “Yours Ours Until You Die,” and before that, “Work Pays For The Plot, So Rest When You’re Dead. “These were brilliant for the time, but today’s humans have moved on and evolved. They are looking for something softer. Something that makes them feel good. “Work Will Set You Free.” It sounds positive but has two downsides. A) It doesn’t set you free and B) It’s close to some previous branding work we don’t like to talk about.
“Belonging” that is a good start.
Perhaps a digital first strategy needs a GIF. That’s an easy one. Of course it does. Imagine a young person standing centre screen. Say a nineteen-year old man or woman and all of their favourite things start dropping from above; cars, clothes, a nice house, a yacht, televisions, phones, motorcycles, roller blades. Pretty soon the screen is full and the cool stuff that capitalism gives them is still falling. They can’t keep it all under control. It starts to flatten them. But still, the items fall, causing the young person to be crushed completely.
Emoji, gif , slogan. Capitalism needs a new theme tune. Ideally, an act that is cool, hip and edgy. Are rage against the machine still taking bookings. That song “Ghost of Jom Toad” is right on the money for this.
All of this work will be for nothing if it isn’t distributed to the right people in the right way. Particularly the 18–35 demographic. They are the hardest group to reach and the ones who really need to hear this message. They spend a lot of time online, a lot of time on social media. There is one way to get them. Facebook.
Now we just need to pick a spokesperson. Capitalism’s ambassador. Someone who conveys feelings of genuineness and deep-seated generosity. Someone who is authentically real and displays not just the common touch but a deep connection with everyday people. There is only one choice, Kim Kardashian.
It’s clear that throwing money at the problem is the solution.
