There’s a New Claim for the World’s Oldest Person Ever

Larrylambert
The Haven
Published in
3 min readOct 4, 2021

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Documentation is sketchy for this questionable honor.

Cartoon by Lambert-King

The family of Natabay Tinsiew, an animal herder from Azefa, Eritrea, claims he was the oldest person who ever lived. As you may have surmised, Azefa is not a metropolitan area. It’s a small African village. Documentation is therefore sketchy.

Officials from the Guinness Book of World Records have been asked to review records that would confirm Tinsiew was 127 years old at the time of his death. It’s unclear whether the Guinness people will go to the cave wall where the birth is recorded.

The family said Tinsiew spent his last days sleeping, doing nothing and preparing for death in general. Mr. Tinisiew said the key to a long life was, “patience, generosity and a joyful life.” Ironically that’s the same thing he would say when asked what he wanted for lunch.

Tinsiew was married from 1934–2018. His wife died at the age of 99. I’m not great at math, but it seems like Tinsiew was somewhat of a cradle or manger robber, or whatever parents in Azefa put their kids in. I assume that arrangement wasn’t that uncommon back in the day.

Mr. Tinsiew lived through many world-changing events during his life. Who knows, he may have even been aware of some of them.

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Larrylambert
The Haven

You probably don't know my name, but have likely seen my work. I've written for numerous syndicated cartoon strips and my gags have appeared in national pubs.