“They’d Waste It on Booze,” Says Man in 7–11 Fedora, Denying Change to Homeless Person

SANTA MONICA, CA — Spotted by several onlookers near a local 7–11, visiting tourist Dale Fraser had been overheard, while reading a newspaper on the hood of his car and donning his brand new Fedora purchased from the beachside convenience store, denying change to a homeless woman because she’d just “waste it on booze.”

Sources reported early Thursday morning that the 53-year-old sightseer and travel blogger had been approached by a local, well-known panhandler as he was exiting the market, dispensing change back into his fanny pack and proudly sporting the tan, soft-brimmed hat he had pulled off the rack next to the hot dog warmer, out of which he had also paid for two steak and cheese taquitos.

The part time property manager and landlord was then seen lighting up a Swisher Sweet he had also impulsively bought from inside as he sauntered the rest of the way through the parking lot, remarking that he works “very hard” for his money and he’s not about to give it away to someone who will squander it “recklessly” and “without care.” Popping open a sugar-free energy drink and smoothing out the center brim of the recently procured headpiece, Fraser then balanced the hat on the Evan Longoria bobblehead he had mounted on his dash as he entered his vehicle.

As he pulled out of the parking lot, Fraser then seemed to have a sudden change of heart, paying a homeless-looking kid to clean his windshield only if the young man promised to use it for “something useful.”