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Things Besides Toilets That Should Be Automatic

Terror, terror everywhere!

Elle Rogers
The Haven
Published in
2 min readOct 7, 2020

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So you’re using the public bathroom, already scared out of your wits because there could be COVID germs in addition to all the regular germs when suddenly BLAMO! The toilet flushes at a velocity that would put Niagra Falls during the spring melt to shame. Sure, the adrenaline surge and bloodcurdling screams are fun and all, but then, in a twinkling, it’s over, leaving you pining away for your next terror fix.

That’s why several prominent companies are rolling out the following automatic things. Now you can enjoy bowel-cleansing terror and hands-free sanitary-ness in all your favorite places.

Fast-food drive-thrus

Picture this: you pull up, wait for the terrified employee to finally take your order only to have to wait again for them to stuff it into a bag and toss it out the window at you when you pull up.

What if, instead of all that rigamarole, you were just pelted with delicious foodstuffs the minute you pulled up to the order box? Simply roll down the windows, scream your credit card number into the wind, and peel on out of there with your vehicle filled to bursting with diet soda, fries, and McLiver-wiches.

Slot machines

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The Haven
The Haven

Published in The Haven

A Place to Be Funny Without Being a Jerk

Elle Rogers
Elle Rogers

Written by Elle Rogers

Mommy. Wife. Writer. Lunatic. My debut poetry collection, “The Weight of Need”, is available on Amazon.

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