This Old Grouse

A reading from the book of Gazebo, 01:14:24

1 And they both, woman and man, walking through the woods, came upon the fallen birches and said, “Behold, the earth has given up to us posts and beams. Let us build as did our forebears on the land, and raise up a gazebo of praise for the gifts we have been given.”

2 So they gathered to them all the birch that was true and unblemished, and brought it upon the hillside, And tools were taken in hand and together they began to build it six cubits by six cubits by ten cubits. From the Lowes land did they bring great bundles of shingle, likewise unblemished, except for all those of the mid-bundle, which were not.

3 Then an angel saw them, and came unto them and whispered, “Use neither birch nor poplar, for it yields and breaks, and the rot shall be within it.” They listened not, but purchased more cubits when they went on sale.

4 Upon this gazebo they lavished much hardware, and at its joints were crammed all manner of shims, for these are the great levelers of things, and they shimmed here and they shimmed there and were shimmers in the eyes of the Lord.

5 So it rose up, and they crowned it with cedar and flashing and more cubits. They called it Blessed, and christened it the Abe Vigoda Memorial Pagoda, and it was their temple, and they saw that it was good. . .enough.

6 So the weeks became months. And their family saw it and did rejoice. And the neighbors were astonished. Then friends came, and beheld the white pillars like marble and the soft glow of candles amid the rafters, and said, “Surely, you did good.” And the woman and man sat beneath it and were glad.

7 And the months became years. Then did insects hatch from the very bark of the birch, and mushrooms burst forth along the posts, and woman and man were sore afraid. And as the birds of the fields made homes in the rafters, so too did the woodpeckers come and feast upon the rails and beams. And the rot of which the angel had warned became manifest, and there could be seen a great swaying of the temple. And there was much wailing and gnashing of teeth.

8 Only then did the man buy wood afresh from the miller, and shored up the temple, and made a great show of replacing the entire structure under the roof before the snow should fly. But he did it not.

9 In the fullness of time, the angel came to the Lord, saying, “This is bad.” And the Lord saw the badness, and sighed, as the Lord must be wont to do from time to time.

10 So winter fell upon the woman and man, and with it came a great storm, and the Lord allowed to rise up from the south a howling wind, and in the dark of night it sheared the temple at its roots and cast it upon the ground — yet carefully, so that not even a sparrow would be harmed in its falling.

11 And in the morning the woman came upon it and beheld its ruin. And she went to the man, saying, “It is as with all things.” But the man was distraught, and cried, “O, what is with me? Had I not but kept at it, our temple might be standing still.” Yet blame is a wolf that is always hunting, and the man felt its hunger, and turned next to the Lord, saying, “And where wast Thou? Couldst not the strength of Thy mighty hand have at least propped it up though springtime?”

12 And the Lord heard the remonstrance of the man, but took it not to heart and sought no punishment, for the Lord is not about all that. So the Lord came to them, and said to the man, “Where wast thou when I laid the foundations of the earth? Yet I was with thee, when thou sank thy untreated posts into narrow holes of quick-setting concrete, and I watched over thee, and let no injury come to thee. When they ask who it was that pinioned thy wobbly ladder whilst woman shingled, and upheld risers lest timbers strike down man, say to them, ‘I am’. Build thee henceforth according to plan, know that you are loved, be at peace, and shim no more.”