Top 10 Birds: RANKED
Everything you need to know.
#1. Pigeons
Pigeons are like Tom Brady. Despite your continued hatred, they’re everywhere and they stay winning. Somehow, they can’t be stopped. And they vomit food into their offsprings mouths. When Tom kisses his son on the lips? Not just saliva being exchanged.
#2. Albatross
Albatrosses are fucking huge. Have you ever seen an albatross? Of course you haven’t, because you wouldn’t survive the encounter. That’s how big they are. Do you have any friends who have seen an albatross? No. No you don’t. Because they’re dead.
#3. Parrots
It really isn’t talked about enough that parrots can talk. Um, hello? Parrots can fucking talk. Like, speak in full sentences and shit. You can have conversations with them, or unleash them on your enemies full of annoying phrases. When you quit your shitty job, you can release parrots armed with cringeworthy TikTok references in your office. Imagine a parrot screaming “small waist pretty face with a big bank” over and over until your former boss wanted to jump through his corner office pane-glass windows. That is the pernicious power of parrots.
